It’s safe to say that racial tensions in the country are at an all-time high. Violent racists are able to congregate in the streets spewing hate speech. Their leader, Donald J. Trump, does nothing to condemn these racists, in addition to condemning Black people for exercising their Constitutional rights, pardoning a heinous racist sheriff, and making his own racist agenda known to all.
In this kind of climate, it is absolutely necessary that people of color have allies. White people that they can feel safe around, that they know will fight furiously for their rights and honor when they are not around. There are some of you that want to be an ally to people of color but have no idea what that entails or means. That’s fine. What matters is that you’ve taken steps to help and make a difference.
To thank you, I have provided the ABCs of Allydom. Read it. Live it. Love it.
A – Appropriation. Don’t do it. It is fine to appreciate and even participate in black culture. What is not okay is stealing things from a culture that is not your own and then renaming and claiming it as your own.
B – Black Lives Matter. If you have ever felt the urge to blurt out that All Lives Matter after hearing someone say those words, you are part of the problem. When a Black person asserts that their life matters, they are not saying that your life or the life of anyone else does not. That person just wants you to understand after centuries of being seen as chattel, less than human, savage, thugs, or anti anything positive, saying that he or she matters is important. So if you are offended that a person believes that they matter, you need to ask yourself why you feel that way. What’s problematic about desiring understanding, empathy, and the right to live without fear?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hRM2NmZtR0
C – Counting is prohibited if it involves calculating the number of black and brown people around you or in your life. The phrase “I have [insert number] black friends/employees/coworkers/kids” is NEVER appropriate. If color didn’t matter, you wouldn’t be cognizant of the number of people who are different from you that are around you.
D – Do not deflect! Whataboutism is a tool of the uninformed idiot. You are not an idiot, right? So, if having a conversation about police brutality/murders, for example, do not bring up Baltimore or Chicago or black on black crime. This is like comparing apples to dog poo, one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. Yes, Chicago and Baltimore have high violent crime rates. Yes, black people are more likely to kill other black people. The vast majority of homicide victims are killed by people of their own race. But, neither of these issues have anything to do with the fact that some police officers abuse their power and murder black citizens with no fear of punishment or retribution. Therefore, stay on topic. Do not try to deflect from the issues by bringing up asinine examples.
E – Eyesight. Good eyesight is important. This means people of color don’t want to hear about the things that you don’t or can’t see. Don’t tell us that you don’t see color. Don’t tell us that you are color blind. Although some would like to believe it, blackness does not mean invisibility. We are standing right here. See us. We want to you embrace our differences. Recognize them. We want that, we just don’t want you hating us because of those differences.
F – Fear of blackness is a very real thing. I encourage you to face these fears. This fear leads to things like deflection and counting. Instead of being afraid of what a black or brown person might do, figure out why that’s where your mind went in the first place. And once you figure that out, decide what you are going to do to change why you have that belief. You cannot be of service to communities of color if you have stereotypical beliefs about the people you are trying to serve.
G – Gentrification is pretty much the appropriation of land. Christopher Columbus is pretty much the biggest gentrifier in history. It’s fine to want to improve neighborhoods but don’t do it at the expense of the people who were there before you. It is THEIR neighborhood. You are just a visitor with a Home Depot card.
H – Honesty is important. If you feel a certain way about a topic, discuss it and be truthful about what you feel and why you feel that way. Don’t hold back your feelings because you don’t want to hurt someone else’s.
I – Injustice toward minorities in this country is as American as apple pie. Many of the industries here are built on it. We have become so used to it that when it happens we just shake our heads and prepare for the next one.
J – Black juveniles are not seen as children. Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Tyre King. All children, seen as threats to fully grown white men. Our children don’t get the option to make “childhood mistakes” that white children do. For any infraction, serious or not, they are rounded up and punished, often having to hold on to the stigma of that arrest for the rest of their lives.
K – Know your place. Do not enter a space and try to take over. Lanes have been created for a reason. Stay in yours.
L – Listen to what the people of color around you are saying. Just because you haven’t seen it with your own eyes or experienced it personally does not mean that the struggle doesn’t exist. Don’t speak over them and try to whitesplain things away because you think you know what the real issue is. Listen. Allow them to express their feelings, without being made to feel like the reason why they are upset doesn’t exist.
M – Make room in your life for people of color. Despite some people wishing them to go away, Black and brown people are in America to stay. So instead of segregating your life, find ways to include people of color. Shop at minority-owned businesses. Send your children to racially diverse schools. Step outside of your monochromatic box and taste the rainbow.
N – Never say the n-word. EVER. No form of it. EVER. Even if you’ve been invited to the BBQ. DON’T. And don’t ask why you can’t because that just makes people wonder why you want to say it so bad and that will lead to more problems that you just don’t want.
O – Oppression. Oppression is defined as prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control. Four hundred years of slavery, the ratification of the 13th Amendment, redlining, segregation, the school to prison pipeline; all of these things are ways that Black people have been and continue to be oppressed in this nation. So the idea that people genuinely believe that oppression for Black people no longer exists anymore because slavery is over and we’ve had a Black president – asinine.
P – Privilege. White privilege exists and you guys use the hell out of it. If not, there’s no way we’d have to explain to the world how we got our Crackpot in Chief, President Donald Trump. This privilege assists you in ways that you probably don’t even realize, like staying alive at traffic stops or being able to walk through a store without being followed.
Q – Questions. If you don’t understand something ASK someone about it. It is better to appease your curiosity with a genuine question than to base your actions on the idea of what you think something means. That’s how stereotypes start.
R – Rage. James Baldwin once said, “To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.” This does not mean that Black people are mad at you specifically. Black people are mad at the continuous instances of police brutality, the systematic oppression that prevent many black people from living the American dream,
S – Speak up. Your silence when your friend posts a racially insensitive meme or when Uncle Fred uses the n-word at Thanksgiving dinner makes you complicit in their racism. When these things happen you must say something. I know it’s hard for you to “rock the boat” with your friends and family but sometimes being right feels wrong. And, honestly, speaking out should cause the discomfort of the people causing the problems.
T – Think. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Use your brain when it comes to dealing with racist, sexist, or xenophobic behaviors in others. Think about the best solution for the situation and act on that. No point in ending up with a black eye for being overzealous.
U – Unity. Black and brown people do not wait for times of crisis to come together. This is why Miss Ethel down the street can correct my child’s behavior. Why the BBQ and any other gathering is so important to us. Why we walk into a room and automatically acknowledge any other person of color that we see. Because we are in this together.
V – Vote. The 15th Amendment gave black men the right to vote in 1870. However, white men didn’t like this so violence and other scare tactics were used to prevent black people going to the polls until the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was passed. Since our right to vote without fear was taken away from us, many Black take voting seriously. It is a privilege and an honor to perform this civic duty every single time there is an election. If you hate the racist, sexist, xenophobic direction this country seems to be taking. You should get out and vote with us.
W – Watch your mouth. That passive aggressive self-victimization stuff will get you beat up
X – Xerox this list. Keep it close. Refer to it often.
Y– Yesterday’s infractions matter today. Don’t expect your Black or brown friend to easily forgive or forget when you’ve shown yourself to be exactly who you claim to be.
Z – Zeal. If there is nothing we can do, black people can make a way out of no way and do with a flourish. Have you wishing you came up with the ideas all on your own (refer to Appropriation above.) Your ancestors said to figure out how to survive off scraps, my ancestors created soul food. Our women were told to cover their hair because it was a distraction, they wrapped it up and made it fly as hell. Black and brown people have perfected the art of turning nothing into something. You should probably just tell your friends to stop trying to hold us down.
Feature Image via Wikipedia.
