True Life: I Understand Racism
I’ve dealt with racism my entire life, but the era of normalized and blatant racism that Donald Trump has ushered in has changed my perspective on my place in America. I’m a Veteran, and although never disillusioned by the history of hate that the United States created from the moment the “founding fathers” fancied themselves as having “found” what was already bustling and thriving, I did serve with the expectation that people who look like me one day receive the full rights and privileges that are supposed to come with being an American.
However, it’s 2017 and so-called President Donald Trump is throwing paper towels at suffering Puerto Ricans like they’re dogs:
White supremacists are marching in the name of “fulfilling the promises of Trump”:
The person who should be condemning brazen acts of domestic terror as the heinous crimes they are, is denigrating them to being the fault of people on “many sides“:
The days of being called the “n” word, getting frustrated with being the token brown person, being passed over for opportunities, etc., being the most obvious displays of racism I have to deal with, are gone. Thanks to Donald Trump I have to deal with racist people who swear they’re not racist, and racist people who are proud to be racist, on an entirely new level.
I’m built for it, but it sucks.
For example, I’m employed by a non-profit social service agency staffed with do-gooders who, because they help “those people,” can’t fathom the notion of being racist, having racist tendencies, or otherwise being culturally insensitive jerks.
As a brown woman, I’ve long been aware of the double-standard that exists with me. I’m always “too” something, whether too much or too little. When I speak/write well, then I’m told I’m talking too high for people and need to bring it down. If I bring my vocabulary down, then I’m told I need to speak/write more professionally. If I’m quiet, then I’m not using the voice I was hired to share, but when I talk, I need to “tone it down.”
Can’t win for losing.
The aforementioned series of catch 22s and more have had me thinking a lot here of late about the irritatingly racist things that the savior complex having racists I work with, who claim they’re not racist, say/do. If you find yourself being able to relate to anything below, you might be racist too:
1. Make “Those People” Comments
I work at a non-profit social service agency. Often times when referring to the clients we serve, my colleagues will say things like, “I don’t know why they. . .” or “If they’d just. . .” Statistically, brown people are the largest population served by the agency (by a lot), so when co-workers talk about “they” and “them,” they’re talking about people with brown skin. Moreover, the plight of the majority of the people served by my agency is that which my colleagues could never fathom, so when they exacerbate the already existent power dynamic by further separating themselves from clients, it lets me know that they not only don’t understand the people we serve, but they don’t want to understand.
2. Assume That Silence Equals A Bad Attitude Or Anger
When my white colleagues come to work crying about their cat, dog, or other life crisis, I feel like I’m expected to go out of my way to console them. These colleagues are typically outrageously emotional and often shut down for days at a time because of whatever life tragedy is impacting them. That’s fine, life happens, but if life is keeping you from doing your job, then stay home. But no, it’s perfectly OK for them to come to work, lash out at others, not fulfill their duties, etc., because of their personal tragedy.
However, just this week I simply didn’t feel like talking I wasn’t in a bad mood, nothing was wrong and I wasn’t angry. I was quiet. To clarify: I’m never Charlene chatterbox, so walking in, as I’m giving the greeting of the day, and doing what I come to work to do (work), isn’t new. Yet this stupid dork made a big embarrassing production about me not saying much. He even went as far as saying, “I’ll leave you alone so you don’t beat me up.” Hunh? What?
I’d beat the brakes off of him if it came to it, no doubt, but why make a big production out of me being quiet, then equate my silence to violence?
3. Pick Their “Favorite Black” To Speak For All Brown People
If white folks haven’t learned anything from the Trump administration, it should be that all brown people aren’t “down for the cause.” Therefore, it’s a major insult when a colleague is selected for something and dubbed as able to speak for me.
I speak well for myself and ol’ girl who routinely hangs with the powers that be outside of work, doesn’t speak for me. Don’t assume she does or insults my intelligence by getting offended when I push back and tell you that she doesn’t.
4. Make Smart-Mouthed Comments And Expect Me Not To Respond, Then Run To Human Resources When I Do
This is a big one. For some reason, my coworkers, especially the white females, seem to want to challenge me. I really don’t get it. It’s almost like they sometimes want me to be the stereotypical “hoodrat” who has no tact, diplomacy, or professional etiquette. However, the moment I come back with an, “I feel your comments to be extremely aggressive and borderline rude,” or a like response, the previously hardcore coworker tucks his/her tail and runs to tell on me.
They’d poop their pants if I ever really let my hood side come out. She isn’t buried that deep and stands at the ready to let folks know that I don’t play all of the time.
5. Create Marginalized Groups To Make Themselves More Oppressed Than Brown People
Okay, look: I know the LGBTQ+ community has it rough. I stand in solidarity with them, I fight with and for them, I recognize, respect, and – as much as I’m able as a heterosexual woman – I understand their struggle. However, it bothers me greatly that as a subset of the LGBTQ+ and gender equity movements, some of my colleagues are really pushing the gender non-binary, gender non-conforming, and gender queer agenda in ways that feel like they’re minimizing the seriousness of racism in America.
This whole, “we’re more marginalized that Black people,” thing, really grinds my gears.
7. Talk About Their Conservative/Pro-Trump Beliefs Like I’m Not Supposed To Interject
Screw that. You come around me talking about how much you love Trump or anything he supports that isn’t in line with inclusion and equity, then you’ve identified yourself as an enemy to me and I’ll treat you accordingly. If you get to say what you want openly, then I do too, but I promise you that my mouth is way crazier than yours, so be ready. Moreover, at the present time, I find it impossible for anyone to identify with the current conservative right or support Donald Trump and claim he/she is not racist.
8. Comment On My Parenting Like They Expect My Child To Act Like A Wild Animal
My daughter is one of the most amazing people on the planet. I don’t just say that because she is mine, I say that because it’s true. Despite having faced more adversity than any young person should have to endure, she is a wonderful student, athlete, and human. My status as a single parent has never defined us. I’m Friday F. Foster, who just so happens to be raising a child whose father has made a conscious decision not to help in any way. He’s a bum, we know it, but his nothingness has no bearing on the young lady I’m raising.
When my coworkers say stuff like, “She is so well mannered, she always looks so nice, she is so helpful,” etc., I want to slap them. Contrary to what the media often portrays, many more brown children are excellent, than in the streets trying to find their way.
9. Start Offensive Comments With, “You know I’m not racist, but. . .”
If you have to give a disclaimer that you’re not racist, you’re racist.
To Sum It All Up
If you’re really not racist and really consider yourself an ally, “woke,” or any of the other sway terms now circulating to describe white people who support brown people, then ask the most brutally honest brown person you know what he/she thinks about you. If the person you ask is number three above or you don’t have anyone to ask, you might be racist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq6Z_B8RdrU&ab_channel=StefanMolyneux
Featured Image screengrab via YouTube.
