Donald Trump is determined to convince us that we are being overrun by aliens. He wants us to be terrified of the hordes of those aliens who he insists are pouring in to murder, rape and rob us.
So, in an effort to keep us all safe, the inventor of the alternative fact has set up a hotline that we can call to report being attacked by aliens.
For real.
The office of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has set up a hotline to “assist victims of crimes committed by criminal aliens.” They call it the Victims of Immigration Crime Engagement program, which tortures the English language just to create the acronym “VOICE.”
Oh, those clever, clever government types.
Of course when the Trump folks use the word “aliens,” what they mean is “undocumented immigrants.” When the rest of hear that word, though, we think of the movie “War of the Worlds.”
You can imagine what happened to the VOICE hotline after the good natured types on Twitter got ahold of the President’s announcement.
Just saw one of these illegal aliens committing a crime, I'm going to the call #VOICE hotline (1-855-488-6423). #TRUMP #ThursdayThoughts pic.twitter.com/SX6MdwoxwU
— Chris Allen (@thewalkingyotes) April 27, 2017
Called Trump's "VOICE" hotline for people to report "illegal aliens". I reported seeing a bloated orange humanoid.
Join me:
1 855 488 6423— Carlos in California (@_Notwhite) April 27, 2017
Those hardworking agents manning the VOICE hotline were overwhelmed by calls reporting everything from little green men at Mar-a-Lago to the Zombie Apocalypse.
A young guy named Alex McCoy started the Twitter jokes when he noticed that the hotline was announced on “Alien Day,” an annual event designed for supporters of the old Alien movies.
He told NBC news:
“I thought this was a chance to push back on how Trump has demonized the immigrant community. [The idea] really took off.”
I guess it did.
Because the Trump immigration folks are plenty mad about the flood of calls that have jammed the hotline.
You know what, though? The agents would have been completely bored if they had waited for actual reports of actual crimes committed by actual undocumented immigrants. The truth is, this is a group that is less likely to commit crimes than their native born peers.
And we don’t want bored agents collecting salaries from our government. So write down that VOICE number, and the next time you see unexplained lights in the sky, give ’em a call.
Featured image by Interdimensional Guardians via Flickr. (CC BY 2.0)
