Donald Trump is President. Make that, president Donald Trump is President.
There are certain realities that must be faced when digesting such an idea. The gastric reflux it causes whenever we see those words placed together in that order is quite understandable. It’s also not going to go away.
We’ll just have to learn to deal with it the same way we deal with Taco Bell breakfasts; with a sense of trepidation, fear, and full knowledge of the buyer’s remorse that will kick in around 11:30 am.
Donald Trump is President.
And that means national portraits hanging on walls. It means personal chefs, well-trained servants, and private planes filled with Russian prostitutes busting for the toilet. And it means all of that other gaffe that Trump is used to, anyway, on account of him being a billionaire.
Still, there’s one perk that not even Trump’s wealth could buy him. The state visit.
The office of the President is an entity of itself. The person holding the office — regardless of their quirks, failings, or tendency to grab genitals — is, in strictly diplomatic terms, somewhat beside the point. Nation states pay homage to the dignity of the Presidency itself and that means that Donald Trump will be feted wherever he goes.
But he’s not going to go anywhere important right? Certainly not somewhere where manners, tact, and politeness are held as virtues.
Right?
Speaking during the joint press conference held at the White House on Friday, British Prime Minister Theresa May said:
“I have today been able to convey Her Majesty the Queen’s hope that President Trump and the First Lady would pay a state visit to the United Kingdom later this year and I’m delighted that the president has accepted that invitation.”
The phrase ‘fuck my face’ was psionically transmitted to Brits around the world. Plates were dropped, moving cars veered off course, and static vehicles saw their engine blocks fill up with nervous cats at an alarming rate.
It’s a good job he loves crowds…
London Appalling
In British slang, ‘to trump,’ is to expel gas through the anus, or – if you prefer your explanations a little less clinical – it’s a polite term for a very loud fart.
So, you can imagine that in a nation that has long beloved toilet humor — and has reacted to Trump’s November win with a mixture of horror, bemusement, and the furtive digging of backyard fallout shelters — the prospect of a full-pomp visit from President ‘Butt Bongo,’ himself is something of a cause célèbre.
The reactions came thick and fast.
Trump is coming to the UK for a state visit this year. God save the Queen.#MayTrump pic.twitter.com/n7EHxjtMkg
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) January 27, 2017
I hear Donald Trump is planning a visit to the UK .. where do I sign to build a wall to keep him out ??
— ¥ (@YasmineChanel) January 27, 2017
''Prime Minister Theresa May says President Trump has accepted an invitation to make a state visit to the UK'''
~ …….. #maytrump pic.twitter.com/mhgGK2PfSp— carol hedges (@carolJhedges) January 27, 2017
So Trump has accepted the Queen's unseemly invite for a state visit. It's going to be one hell of a demonstration in London…
— Arjo Ghosh (@Motu44) January 27, 2017
Can’t believe people are suggesting that this is photoshopped, looks totally normal to me pic.twitter.com/fFhyNv2Noo
— James Moran (@jamesmoran) January 27, 2017
It is indeed.
London Bawling
London is no stranger to protests.
A march against the Iraq war in 2003 is thought to be the largest in modern times. Organizers estimated that around two million people marched on the nation’s capital. But even that display of solidarity might pale in comparison to the crowds set to greet Trump, such is the national objection to his idiotic brand of statesmanship.
London is a city of some nine million people, the majority of whom are unhappy with the current turn of geopolitical fortunes that Trump represents. Many Europeans have all but given up on the U.S. a country we once looked to for leadership. A country where politicians on both sides of the political spectrum seem to have acceded to Putin’s desire to pick their President for them.
So the people of the U.K. will be there to greet Trump all right.
And Liberal America will be there too.
To share a few happy snaps.
Watch Parliament’s passionate and candid attempt to ban Donald Trump from ever entering the U.K. again.
Featured Image: Screenshot Via Twitter.