The Yale Record Just Published The BEST Non-Endorsement Of A Candidate EVER!

The Yale Record, America’s Oldest College Humor Magazine, has NOT endorsed Hillary Clinton – in a most spectacular way.

The Yale Record is based in the college town of New Haven, Connecticut and was founded by Edward Anthony BradfordJames Heartt VanBurenSamuel J. ElderE.H. Lemis, and Henry Ward Beecher Howard in 1872, publishing their first weekly issue on September 11, 1872. They gleefully point readers to their lengthy Wikipedia page to prove their validity, claim the invention of the word “hot dog,” and ponder whether the face of the New Yorker would look different if they hadn’t been doing what they’re doing.

The Record adopted “Old Owl” as their mascot over a century ago, but the actual date of acquisition wasn’t recorded anywhere. The mascot, described as a connoisseur of Cutty Sark, is:

“… a congenial, largely nocturnal, 360-degree-head-turning, cigar-smoking bird who tries to steer the staff towards a light-hearted appreciation of life and the finer things in it.”

 

From Wikimedia Commons
From Wikimedia Commons available under a CC Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported license.

With such an illustrious past, how could anything they produce not be spectacular? Let’s see what Old Owl had to say.

The non-endorsement begins with a simple explanation of why they aren’t endorsing any candidate:

“In its 144-year history, The Yale Record has never endorsed a Democratic candidate for president. In fact, we have never endorsed any candidate for president. This is, in part, due to our strong commitment to being a tax-exempt 501(c)3 organization, which mandates that we are ‘absolutely prohibited from directly or indirectly participating in, or intervening in, any political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to) any candidate for elective public office.'”

And:

“The Yale Record believes both candidates to be equally un-endorsable, due to our faithful compliance with the tax code.”

With that explained, one would ordinarily assume they were done. But no, they had a bit more to say:

“In particular, we do not endorse Hillary Clinton’s exemplary leadership during her 30 years in the public eye. We do not support her impressive commitment to serving and improving this country—a commitment to which she has dedicated her entire professional career. Because of unambiguous tax law, we do not encourage you to support the most qualified presidential candidate in modern American history, nor do we encourage all citizens to shatter the glass ceiling once and for all by electing Secretary Clinton on November 8.

“The Yale Record has no opinion whatsoever on Dr. Jill Stein.”

So there it is… absolutely the best non-endorsement EVER.

 

Featured image courtesy of Heat Street.