Betsy Davis, 41, was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). In early July, she sent a unique party invite to her family and friends. The email said:
“These circumstances are unlike any party you have attended before, requiring emotional stamina, centeredness and openness.”
The only rule: no crying in front of her.
She held this gathering before becoming the first person in California to take her own life under the new doctor-assisted suicide law.
The photographer, Niels Alpert, a cinematographer from New York City, said:
“For me and everyone who was invited, it was very challenging to consider, but there was no question that we would be there for her.”
“The idea to go and spend a beautiful weekend that culminates in their suicide — that is not a normal thing, not a normal, everyday occurrence. In the background of the lovely fun, smiles and laughter that we had that weekend was the knowledge of what was coming.”
Over 30 people came to the party at a beautiful home in Ojai, California. Someone brought a cello; another person brought a harmonica. There were drinks and pizza from her favorite local pizza joint. They also screened one of her favorite movies, The Dance of Reality, a biography of a Chilean film director.
At the end of the weekend, people slowly left. They would kiss her, take a picture, and leave. She was wheeled to a canopy bed on the hillside where she took the lethal drugs that the doctor had given her.
The law allowing physician-assisted suicide was passed just a month before her party.
Davis’ sister, Kelly, said:
“Obviously, it was hard for me. It’s still hard for me. The worst was needing to leave the room every now and then, because I would get choked up. But people got it. They understood how much she was suffering and that she was fine with her decision.”
Betsy felt empowered when planning this party. She spent the last three years slowly losing control of her body.
Alpert said:
“What Betsy did gave her the most beautiful death that any person could ever wish for. By taking charge, she turned her departure into a work of art.”
This is a beautiful way to celebrate a life. People with painful, terminal conditions should be allowed to make their own choices about their lives. Some people don’t want to spend their last months wasting away in a hospital bed.
Image is a YouTube screengrab.
