If there is any decency left in this country, Donald Trump lost the 2016 presidential election when he suggested that the mother of a fallen Muslim American war hero wasn’t allowed to speak for herself at the Democratic National Convention because her faith didn’t allow it. On Friday, Trump got wind that Gold Star dad Khizr Khan, the father of Captain Humayun Khan, had laid into him on the last night of the convention for his ugly Islamophobia. Trump wondered if his wife, Ghazala, had been allowed to say anything in her own right–a remark that has gotten him blasted from both sides of the aisle.
In truth, Ghazala is still very shaken 12 years after her son was blown up by an IED in Iraq after getting his unit to safety. She knew there would be a giant picture of him on the video screen in Philadelphia, and couldn’t bring herself to speak. However, she came on stage with Khizr because he wouldn’t have had the strength to even go on stage without his wife of 42 years by his side. In essence, Trump was saying that there is something wrong if a Gold Star mom can’t speak for herself. There are literally no words for how despicable this is.
Well, I got that wrong. It turns out that Ghazala did have some words for Trump, via a moving op-ed that will appear in Monday’s edition of The Washington Post. However, it’s not likely that Trump, or anyone who still supports him, will like what Ghazala had to say.
“Donald Trump has asked why I did not speak at the Democratic convention. He said he would like to hear from me. Here is my answer to Donald Trump: Because without saying a thing, all the world, all America, felt my pain. I am a Gold Star mother. Whoever saw me felt me in their heart.”
Ghazala then shared what her heart was. Her son wanted to give something back to the country that had been his home since his family arrived from the UAE when he was two years old. He felt he could best do it by following his father into the practice of law. According to a resolution passed by the Virginia General Assembly in his honor, Humayun joined the ROTC while at the University of Virginia, and enlisted in the Army to pay his law school bills. He intended to become a military lawyer.
When Humayun learned he was going to Iraq, his parents tried to talk him out of it. Ghazala was particularly unnerved by her son going into that meat-grinder; she still had memories of the Indo-Pakistani War of 1965, which raged while she was in high school. However, Humayun felt he had a duty to go there.
Ghazala knew that her son was the kind of person to rush out to save others. On their last phone conversation, on Mother’s Day 2004, she asked him not to risk himself like that. But Humayun told her, “Mom, these are my soldiers, these are my people. I have to take care of them.” He died less than a month later.
Like any Gold Star mom, Ghazala feels a pain she will likely take to her grave. It’s so deep that even now, the sight of her son’s picture is more than she can handle. That’s why she didn’t say anything in Philadelphia–she didn’t feel that she could.
“I cannot walk into a room with pictures of Humayun. For all these years, I haven’t been able to clean the closet where his things are — I had to ask my daughter-in-law to do it. Walking onto the convention stage, with a huge picture of my son behind me, I could hardly control myself. What mother could? Donald Trump has children whom he loves. Does he really need to wonder why I did not speak?”
Ghazala then gives Trump, and the nation, a crash course in Islamic family relations. It turns out that Khizr asked his wife if she wanted to speak, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. According to Ghazala, Khizr did what any Muslim husband worth his salt is supposed to do.
“My religion teaches me that all human beings are equal in God’s eyes. Husband and wife are part of each other; you should love and respect each other so you can take care of the family.”
As far as Ghazala is concerned, Trump’s talk about sacrifice is hot air. All his talk about creating jobs doesn’t even begin to compare to a Gold Star family whose son gave his life for his adopted country.
After this, anyone who supports Trump or is thinking about supporting him should ask themselves–do you want someone who is this lacking in empathy as your commander-in-chief?
