For this list, I’m pointing out some signs that your relationship might be abusive. Often, the abuse goes beyond physical violence. Some people experience psychological or emotional abuse as well. I’m presenting you some of the signs that your relationship might be abusive.
1. Controlling You
If the abuser is forcing boundaries on you, it could be problematic. They may try and restrict where you go, when you go, and other things. They may freak out if you go somewhere without telling them. They may make a ridiculous curfew. They may even try and shove their way into your finances if he controls your money.
2. It’s Affecting Your Employment
Sometimes, abuse victims have a hard time keeping a job. They may show up late and be tired all of the time. Sometimes the abuser may even physically keep the victim from going to work by not allowing her to leave the house or something similar.
3. Refusing To Practice Safe Sex Even When They Are Unfaithful
They may refuse to wear a condom because the abuser doesn’t want to lose out on that feeling. They may cheat anyway, but they will act like they won’t. The abuser may turn it around and think the victim only wants safe sex because of a lack of trust.
4. Putting You Down Or Other Verbal Abuse
They may call you names or insult you in some other way. They may say that they don’t care about your wants and needs. They may even insult you in front of other people, and make you even more embarrassed.
5. Denial And Victim Blaming
They may tell you that what they say is not abuse. The abuser may even say that you deserved it for some slight. Basically, they want to flip the blame on you.
6. Not Taking Your Side In Arguments
Every couple argues occasionally, but if you are having fights every day there might be a problem. They may disagree with you, but an abuser may absolutely disagree with you all the time. If he starts doubting your understanding of reality, that is serious.
7. Isolation
They may start trying to keep you from seeing your friends and family. The abuser probably knows that your loved ones can see how abusive he is. They don’t want the victim to get the idea of leaving in their head.
8. Reminding The Victim They Are Powerless
The abuser may say things like “You’re not a fighter.” They will try and dominate every part of your life. They want to make their victim feel dependent. They may also constantly admit that they are the best thing to happen to the victim.
9. The Abuser Wants You All The Time
They may constantly want to have sex. They may call or text way too much. The abuser may even try to force you into sex. The victim may be afraid to say no or dump him because he is so needy.
If you or someone you love is a victim of domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. You can also chat with someone online.
Here is a Ted Talk about reasons why victims are reluctant to leave stressful relationships:
h/t: PsychologyToday
