Got Republican friends and family members trolling your Facebook? Read below. You’re welcome. 😉
1. When they talk about banning abortion…
Remind them that Ronald Reagan once legalized abortion in California in his fourth month in office as the governor of California. He passed the Therapeutic Abortion Act in 1967; this was before Roe v. Wade.
Yes, conservatives, your hero legalized abortion.
2. When they complain about “socialists ruining the country…”
The Pledge of Allegiance was written by a Christian Socialist, Francis Bellamy. Bellamy once said:
“The true reason for allegiance to the Flag is the “republic for which it stands.”… And what does that vast thing, the Republic mean? It is the concise political word for the Nation the One Nation which the Civil War was fought to prove. To make that One Nation idea clear, we must specify that it is indivisible, as Webster and Lincoln used to repeat in their great speeches. And its future?
Just here arose the temptation of the historic slogan of the French Revolution which meant so much to Jefferson and his friends, ‘Liberty, Equality, Fraternity.’ No, that would be too fanciful, too many thousands of years off in realization. But we as a nation do stand square on the doctrine of liberty and justice for all.”
3. When they talk about “welfare” or “entitlement…”
From the author at Gopocalypse:
“Jesus was a radical leftist Jew that gave free food and healthcare to everyone, and never suggested that it fostered a culture of dependence or entitlement. When Republicans complain about having to pay for other people’s food stamps or public housing, remind them Jesus also said everyone should pay their taxes without protest.”
4. When they complain about the debt…
President Obama has decreased the deficit. He has slowed down the spending. During the last year of George W. Bush’s presidency, spending rose 17.9 percent; Obama’s first budget showed the spending decreasing by 1.8 percent.
5. When they act like the know something about science…
Over 25 percent of Americans think that the Sun orbits the Earth. Only 39 percent could correctly say that the universe began with a Big Bang. Only 48 percent of people said:
“Human beings, as we know them today, developed from earlier species of animals.”
6. When they complain about gun control…
Ronald Reagan supported gun control. In a joint letter with Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter, Reagan wrote:
“While we recognize that assault weapon legislation will not stop all assault weapon crime, statistics prove that we can dry up the supply of these guns, making them less accessible to criminals.”
To Annoy Republicans Anytime…
You can say some of these fun (true) things to annoy any conservatives:
- The South lost the Civil War, get over it.
- Sarah Palin is an idiot.
- The Earth is round.
- Republicans hate illegal immigrants unless they need their lawns mowed or their houses cleaned.
- Paying taxes is patriotic.
- Tea parties are for little girls.
- The Constitution is the law, NOT the Bible.
- Women are equal citizens who deserve equal rights.
- Women control their own bodies.
- Health care is a right, not a product.
- Roe v. Wade was a bipartisan ruling made by a conservative leaning Supreme Court.
Have fun pissing off your conservative friends and family members!
Here is a video of the Westboro Baptist Church being trolled! Enjoy!
Featured image via Scott Beale/Laughing Squid
