With the very real threat of Donal Trump elected as President of the United States in November, people have been starting to half-jokingly seek escape routes.
But where would these huge masses of asylum-seeking Americans go?
Most escape strategies discussed in media has been suggesting moving up north to the Canadian utopia run by everybody’s favorite panda-hugging Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
An island in eastern Canada has already showed interest in hosting American refuge-seekers. But despite their good intent, it will hardly be able to fit the millions of working-class Americans who will lose their Obamacare and find it impossible to make ends meet, not to mention all banned Muslims and deported Hispanics.
There will be millions of people desperate to get away from Trump’s America.
The other escape route leading down south to Mexico, will soon be blocked by a giant wall, effectively stopping any attempts to reach the comparative safety of Juárez.
Luckily The Daily Show offered a third alternative yesterday, by reporter Michelle Wolf.
Daily Show host Trevor Noah introduced Wolf’s segment by offering the studio audience to stay with him in Africa. However, because of the limited space at his house, he had to leave it up to her to find a solution for the rest of us. And so she did, after predicting Trump’s upcoming victory:
“He’s going to win, because he does the exact opposite of what we think is going to happen. […] We are going to have a president that looks like your fingers after you have been eating cheese curls.”
Wolf concluded there is really only one solution to all of this:
“We go back to England and we say ’we’re very sorry’”.
America would have to admit that we were not ready for any of this independence. The time has finally come for America to apologize and pay for the tea.
“England […] we’re at a jam and we want to come home.”
Watch more of Michelle Wolf’s hilarious thoughts on solving the Trump situation here.
Featured image is a screenshot from video.
