Starting on Friday, April 29, 2016, Jim Jones Humble will be in Houston holding a weekend-long event where for just a $500 donation at the door, you can attend a variety of seminars touting the power of Jim Humble’s Miracle Mineral Supplement. It’ll cure everything that ails you, including erectile dysfunction (ED), malaria, and even AIDS!
The kicker: Humble’s miracle cure-all contains sodium chlorite, a potentially-fatal-if-ingested chemical commonly found in pesticides, fracking, and fabric bleaching.
Wait. What? Why is this even happening?
Perhaps some context is pertinent here. Jim Humble is a modern-day snake oil salesman, and incidentally, the archbishop of the Genesis II Church of Health & Healing, a bizarre “nonreligious” congregation who believe they “have a spiritual mission to save mankind” by peddling hokum and magical cure-all drinks like some Agent Orange-riddled offspring of a traveling medicine show and a megachurch.
Headquartered in the Dominican Republic (because of course it is), Genesis II sports church locations on five continents and Oceania, using the whole world as a stage to push supplements (or “sacraments,” as they call them) that contain a wide range of chemicals that probably should not be consumed by people looking to cure their ED or acne. Along with the sacrament that is part-pesticide, one of their sacraments contains dimethyl sulfoxide, a developmental neurotoxin. Another chemical found in Jim Humble’s Miracle Mineral Supplement is chlorine dioxide, which is toxic in quantities higher than what’s permitted for drinking water chlorination and is, at least to the knowledge of learned people, not an actual cure for autism.
But what of life-threatening conditions or dementia? Well, if you’re dumb enough to believe in this Miracle Mineral Supplement horseshit, just take a metric crap-ton of “the world’s most important broad-spectrum, nontoxic anti-microbial agent” and kiss your cancer or Alzheimer’s goodbye. Or, alternatively, you’ll still get cancer and still lose your damn mind and will likely die because you decided to take a modern version of Hamlin’s Wizard Oil instead of actually trusting medicine. You might as well be a helmet-wearing antivaxxer.
And for the sake of full disclosure, Jim Humble also claims he can make gold and platinum by manipulating water, because if you’re going to buy a cure-all — a term for a product that has never, ever lived up to its hype — you should probably know how batshit crazy the guy selling it to you is before you fully commit.
All cynicism aside, Jim Humble’s Miracle Mineral Supplement is not medically sound. It doesn’t cure ED, autism, cancer, Ebola, or anything else. It’s absolute bunk. Humble’s Miracle Mineral Supplement was twice the subject of U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) warnings in 2010, wherein the institution whose sole mission is to protect public health explicitly stated “the product, used as directed, produces an industrial bleach that can cause serious harm to health.” Complaints to the FDA regarding the Miracle Mineral Supplement are littered with reports of health problems, including “severe nausea, vomiting, and life-threateningly low blood pressure from dehydration,” because that’s what happens when you consume industrial bleach!
If I may speak directly for a moment: I’m not one to go to the doctor all that often. In fact, I’ve probably not gone to the doctor long enough to warrant a trip to the doctor. But as someone skeptical of medicine, I am more skeptical of people who try to sell products promoted as “cure-all” because, let’s face it, a lot of us are suckers and will eat this shit up like it’s half-price buffet night. After all, seed-faith is still a thing. When it comes to health and livelihood, we freak out and anything that promotes itself as a miracle cure will exploit that fear in a portion of the population and they will likely suffer mightily for it. A bunch of people jumped on Metabolife and other ephedra-based dietary supplements to lose weight. Then a bunch of them died. Olestra was huge for a while, then people’s buttholes started to leak.
All I’m saying is products like Jim Humble’s Miracle Mineral Supplement don’t work. They’re a scam, like psychic surgery, your chiropractor, Dr. Oz, and graham crackers.
We don’t know how many people will be forking out $500 this weekend in the hopes of curing their cancer, ED, or autistic child. But people will show up and they’ll be suckered, all because they’re desperate enough to believe some crackpot has the answer to all of their woes.
In sales training, prospective salespersons are told to “find the customer’s pain.” People like Jim Humble are remarkably good at it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do76EvIdxZY
Featured image by electrons_fishgils, available under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.
[H/T Raw Story]
