Crazy Gun Lover Sweepstakes Offering Free Gun To Second Amendment Nutjobs

The National Association for Gun Rights (NAGR) is what the National Rifle Association (NRA) would be if its mother drank a lot while pregnant with it. As the conservative alternative to the NRA, the NAGR “works tirelessly to hold politicians accountable for their anti-gun views” and are notable proponents of “Constitutional Carry,” a view that gun owners should not be “treated like a criminal” by being forced to a get a “government permission slip” (otherwise known as a license) to buy and carry firearms.

In short, the NAGR is the Tea Party wing of the gun rights gang, and like that far-right confederacy in the Republican Party, are about as intellectually-deficient and Constitutionally-dense.

Because the NAGR is as sternly opposed to gun control legislation as Sen. Mitch McConnell is to doing his damn job, the NAGR have decided the best way to combat legislation that will save lives is to rally support from ammosexuals nationwide in the form of a sweepstakes.

Pledge your support to the NAGR’s efforts in pissing all over common sense gun legislation, get an F-1 BDR-15 3G Skeletonized Rifle, complete with a Thermal Imaging Scope, absolutely free! That’s a $9,395 value at no cost to you!

gun sweepstakes rights
Image via National Association for Gun Rights.

Impressive. Like, Ron Popeil’s Showtime Rotisserie impressive.

According to the press release, this phallic-compensating baby eater has all the bells and whistles needed to mow down unsuspecting theater patrons and elementary school students. It’s the embodiment of every “gun-grabbing” politician’s worst nightmare and as a “tool” whose entire purpose is to kill things, this rifle is a juggernaut in the fight against President NoBama and his Marxist Communist Muslim goons and their war on ‘Murican’s God-given right to keep and bear arms. According to Dudley Brown, president of the NAGR:

“Giving away an F-1 BDR-15 3G skeletonized rifle brings more people into the fight for our Second Amendment rights. This gun has every ‘assault-style’ feature that Obama and his gun grabbers want to ban.”

Just to put some gunpowder icing on the putz cake, the sweepstakes’ press release makes a point to inform the reader that this skeletonized rifle is “currently prohibited from civilian ownership in several states, including California.”

Conservatives hate California.

In all seriousness, this sweepstakes is explicitly why the United States gun lobby are as beneficial to the American people as syphilis. In a time where awareness of the ramifications of obsession over these weapons is more pronounced than it’s ever been, there exists absolutely no reason for this kind of promotion to exist, other than to chafe the people who these special ed social activists consider their enemies. After all, the F-1 BDR-15 3G skeletonized rifle is unequivocally marketed in the sweepstakes press release as the bane of the liberals’ existence. This “free gun for your support” sweepstakes is solely an attempt to get under the skin of those of us who see the existence of these kinds of weapons in the hands of the everyday Joe the Plumber as having too much of a capacity for tragedy to be blissfully ignored.

Then again, should anything more be expected from the gun lobby, especially this short bus-riding arm of the gun lobby? I don’t think it’s fair to hold them to a higher intellectual standard. After all, considering that all they seem to know is “Obummer is coming for our guns” and “1776 will commence again,” these kinds of flagrant “piss off the liberals” tactics are the embodiment of their “us vs. them” viewpoint on the issue.

This sweepstakes exists because they’re thoroughly convinced the liberals are coming for their guns… because Alex Jones told them so.

Image by M&R Glasgow, available under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

Robert could go on about how he was raised by honey badgers in the Texas Hill Country, or how he was elected to the Texas state legislature as a 19-year-old wunderkind, or how he won 219 consecutive games of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots against Hugh Grant, but those would be lies. However, Robert does hail from Lewisville, Texas, having been transplanted from Fort Worth at a young age. Robert is a college student and focuses his studies on philosophical dilemmas involving morality, which he feels makes him very qualified to write about politicians. Reading the Bible turned Robert into an atheist, a combative disposition toward greed turned him into a humanist, and the fact he has not lost a game of Madden football in over a decade means you can call him "Zeus." If you would like to be his friend, you can send him a Facebook request or follow his ramblings on Twitter. For additional content that may not make it to Liberal America, Robert's internet tavern, The Zephyr Lounge, is always open