You’ll Never Guess What Gothenberg Erased From This Lake…

By
Liberal America
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Gothenberg, Sweden, 10 days ago: A fresh snowfall over a frozen lake inspired one Gothenbergian to get out his snowblower and create a work of art that would rapidly become legend: the fabled Gothenberg Snow Penis.

The ice dong was noticed by local resident Ake Lindgren, according to TheLocal.se, who of course immediately thought to snap a dick pic and put it up on Twitter. The viral member wasted no time plumbing the depths of the Swedish social media, and it was only a refractory period later that the English-language news got ahold of it. Several strokes (on a keyboard) later, the story was plunging into virgin territory as it hit the American, Australian, and broader European media.

Some people complained, some people giggled, and some people decided that the town should just run with the ‘ice dick’ thing and make it an idiom.

https://twitter.com/AlvarPalm/status/691286663276937217

Asked for comment, the (Social Democrat) mayor of Gothenberg said, “I can’t comment in a way that makes sense. Or, in plain language, ‘who cares?'”

But of course, propriety won out in the end, and the Gothenberg Parks and Landscape Administration decided to wipe it out…but couldn’t. Between the time that it was made and the time they decided to scrub it, the temperature had gone up and the ice was too thin to walk on! So the Gothenberg Snow Penis remained. Until about a week or so later, when some genius thought, “What if I just got a REALLY long-handled brush?” Then this happened:

The Gothenberg Snow Penis was no more.

But wait! Sweden is the country that brought us the penis-shaped pastry just a couple of months ago (to raise support for prostate cancer, naturally)…

 

…and just came out with a new (yes, it’s true) dick tuxedo just in time for Valentine’s Day…

[PIC CENSORED] (sorry)

…and the rapidly-created “Återställ Snökuken” (“Restore the Snowcock”) Facebook page, which got more than four thousand likes (and three thousand (ahem) members) almost overnight, sparking an actual nationwide discourse about the very nature of art itself…

Snow Penis

…so in the end, once the temperature went back down, one of the men who removed the original snow penis, Emilian Sava, decided to take matters into his own two hands. He posted on the Facebook page (translated from Swedish by TheLocal.se):

“I want to say that I am sincerely sorry to see that this many people miss the snow penis. Our thought was to give a hand to the City Council who stand helpless and not try to stop the freedom of art.

 “For this I want to apologise. [sic] To recreate the snow penis in Vallgraven [another area of Gothenburg] is risky but we are thinking about you and at this moment I am trying to figure out the best way to recreate a big and lovely snow penis in the memory of the old one. Please offer suggestions and we will do our best to make this happen.”

And happen it did! The newer, even girthier Gotenberg Snow Penis is actually so big, you can’t see it from the ground — deliberately so, to avoid offending passers-by. But the view from the air is something to behold:

Thanks, Mr. Sava. You’ve helped your nation take a stand on the nature of art itself, made a modern legend even legendarier, and showed us all that perhaps all that stuff about the Nazca lines wasn’t all that difficult after all. Well done!

 

(Featured Image courtesy of Derek Hatfield via Flickr, shared using a Creative Commons 2.0 license.)

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