Let the Bible Speak is typical Christian evangelism. The program features multiple evangelical pastors dissecting the Holy Bible in the search for their specific brand of truth. It’s not really any different than any of the other crap Christian evangelism that exists on television, radio, and the Internet.
On Sunday’s Let the Bible Speak broadcast, Pastor Brad Shockley dipped into the scripture of the Old Testament to provide solace to many a Christian warrior over whether or not they can rationalize the Bible with the factual existence of dinosaurs. As it turns out, according to Shockley, they are absolutely compatible, even though the Bible never explicitly mentions the word “dinosaur” and creationist views on dinosaurs are “rarely credited and often attacked in the media.”
Shockley finds it “sad that society proclaims the need for open-mindedness, yet pulls down the curtain on [Biblical] Creation while promoting evolution.” He further laments that “one who holds the Creation view is in the minority” and “has a difficult time convincing others that [Biblical Creation] is the proper explanation.”
Following his “oh, poor us” commentary on how Christian views are dismissed by the rest of society (because Christianity obviously doesn’t have an ideological majority in the United States), Shockley tells his viewers that “dinosaurs were created on Day 5 — the day sea-dwelling and flying creatures were created — and Day 6 — the day land animals were created.” He then dives into the wisdom bestowed upon humans by God himself:
“According to Genesis, chapter one, verses 20-25, humanity was created by God on Day 6. According to Genesis, chapter one, verse 27, and shared this world with the dinosaurs. All of these events took place approximately 6,000 years ago.”
Shockley alleges that the reason the word “dinosaur” doesn’t exist in the Bible is because the word did not exist when the Bible was written, but evidence of dinosaurs and humans living at the same time can be found in the Book of Job.
“In the Book of Job, we read a behemoth. The Bible mentions a massive creature so large that by all accounts the only plausible explanation is that we are reading about a dinosaur.”
You know, I get it now. I don’t understand how I could have been so blind to the truth. It’s such a revelation! Oh, Pastor Shockley, thank you for opening my eyes and showing me that everything I had learned through science about the dinosaurs could be so easily refuted by passages from a book where God lets Satan torture a man so God can prove a point! I will watch every episode of Let the Bible Speak so I can be armed with the necessary rhetoric to refute the blasphemy given to us by men and women who are thoroughly educated experts in their fields!
Reading from Job, Pastor Shockley gives his viewers the description of Leviathan with soft, lovely inflection.
“In Job, chapter 41, God describes Leviathan to Job. Although the entire chapter gives the description, let us consider just a handful of the characteristics. Verse 9: .. shall not one be cast down even at the sight of him? Verse 14: … his teeth are terrible round about. Verses 19-21: out of his mouth go burning lamps and sparks of fire leap out. Out of his nostril goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or cauldron. His breath kindleth coals, and a flame goeth out of his mouth.
All the traits we normally associate with dinosaurs are found in this passage.”
I don’t recall there ever being any fire-breathing normally associated with dinosaurs. Dragons? Yes. But not dinosaurs. Well, unless it’s a dinosaur with saving throw and armor class bonuses that requires an initiative roll upon encounter. Or Pokemon. I’m sure Pokemon dinosaurs breathe fire.
During Sunday’s Let the Bible Speak broadcast, Shockley claimed that schools were using dinosaurs to indoctrinate children with science and evolution. He further alleged that when children realize that mom and dad couldn’t defend their religious beliefs, they “ignorantly stumble into believing the theories of evolution and abandon their faith.” He continues by stating that “evolutionary doctrine on dinosaurs denies the Bible, creation, the existence of God and, by default, ultimately denies Jesus Christ is the son of God and our redeemer.”
But never fear, Let the Bible Speak and Pastor Brad Shockley are here!
“You see, the truth is, dinosaurs should be used as the poster child for creationism. And we have no problem harmonizing our faith with the Bible explanation of dinosaurs.”
Because, as we all know, Moses rode a velociraptor when he slaughtered the Amalekites with his AR-15.
