The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention wants to do an official study on gun violence in America. The Republican cult of personality, presumably while wiping the corners of their mouths as they left the offices of the National Rifle Association, said no for the 38th time since 1998.
John Boehner, the House’s bullhorn for all things asinine in his chamber of the American government, regurgitated this tried-and-true talking point to justify his party’s standoffish approach to dealing with America’s first-world leading gun violence problem.
“Listen, the CDC is there to look at diseases that need to be dealt with to protect the public health. I’m sorry, but a gun is not a disease. And guns don’t kill people; people do. And when people use weapons in a horrible way, we should condemn the actions of the individual, not blame the action on some weapon. Listen, there are hundreds of millions of weapons in America. They’re there. And they’re going to be there. They’re protected under the Second Amendment. But people who use weapons in an inappropriate or illegal way ought to be dealt with severely.”
That’s the story. The end. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention wants to study the gun violence epidemic and the Republicans refused.
Roll credits.
But, that’s the problem. Based on how the Republicans have chosen to go about trying to quell the steady rate of gun violence in the United States, one can assume that the bastardized party of Lincoln would much rather the nation be caught in a never-ending 308 million-way Mexican standoff.
What good is freedom if we’re all dead?
If I were to impose my will on the American people, no one would have a gun. If we’re so?intent on killing each other, we’re going to have to figure out how to do it with Super Soakers and Nerf darts. However, I can separate my personal viewpoint on the matter from what may be in the best interest of the nation. Since significant portions of the American populous lack the initiative and common sense Australians showed following the 1996 Port Arthur Massacre, it’s safe to assume these phallic symbols of hyper-masculinity are sticking around. If that’s the case, then we should at the very least let The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study why and how we kill each other with them!
Boehner says The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention needs to protect the public health. Of course they do, you dunce! Each year, 8,500 murder victims have bullets extracted from their corpses and over 20,000 people voluntarily eat lead because their “Hang in There” poster stopped working.
Hell, a 3-year-old in Houston just Second-Amendmented himself last week — another tally on the chalkboard chronicling accidental shootings in America.
Nine people were violently murdered in a church by a white supremacist with a gun — another tally on the chalkboard chronicling American mass shootings.
I think a study by The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is the least we could do, given the sheer volume of people riddled with lead in the United States each year. I mean, what do Boehner, LaPierre, and the rest of the American gun fetishists have to worry about?
Could it be that The Centers for Disease Control could actually find definitive evidence that the availability of guns actually?does?influence the rate in which?guns kill people?
