Jeb Bush Painfully Engages Pope Francis In Verbal Fisticuffs Over Climate Change

John Ellis Bush, or “Jeb” when he puts on a propeller hat and has a Bomb Pop melting in his hand, recently challenged Pope Francis to verbal fisticuffs over statements on climate change.?Jeb Bush is Catholic. Remember that.

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Photo by Gage Skidmore — via Flickr

Pope Francis’ assertions on climate change, public knowledge because his encyclical was leaked, state that human activities are partially responsible. Pope Francis knows a thing or two about science. Remember that.

Catholic Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush spoke highly of Pope Francis to attendees of a town hall meeting in Derry, N.H., but then chided the Vicar of Christ, stating that “religion ought to be about making us better as a people and less about things that end up getting into the political realm.”

There are two painfully and fundamentally wrong details in that statement.

First, Pope Francis is the freakin’ Pope. He is essentially Jesus’ mouthpiece. If Jesus were to come down from Heaven and tell the conservative bloc that human activities are accelerating deadly climate change, every old white guy with an American flag pinned to their jacket would stare slack-jawed into Diogo Morgado’s eyes and nod in absolute agreement.

Secondly, since when do Republicans criticize injecting their religious biases into politics? I mean, they’ve based an entire political ideology around their religious zealotry. They use the Establishment Clause as toilet paper while admiring a picture of Republican Jesus writing the Free-Exercise Clause framed on their bathroom wall. Religious Freedom Restoration Acts? Teaching intelligent design in public schools? Engaging President Obama in verbal fisticuffs over “controversial statements” he made on National Prayer Day?

An ignorant person would think the United States is a theocracy.

Ultimately though, Li’l Jeb isn’t the only theocrat in this confederacy of dunces to challenge Pope Francis to verbal fisticuffs over climate change acknowledgement. Rick “As Seen on Urban Dictionary” Santorum told the host of a Philadelphia radio show that the Pope should “leave science to the scientists.”

Yet, are Bush, Santorum, and the rest of the denialist Jesus groupies in the Republican Party scientists? Given their own admission, I do not think so.

Robert could go on about how he was raised by honey badgers in the Texas Hill Country, or how he was elected to the Texas state legislature as a 19-year-old wunderkind, or how he won 219 consecutive games of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots against Hugh Grant, but those would be lies. However, Robert does hail from Lewisville, Texas, having been transplanted from Fort Worth at a young age. Robert is a college student and focuses his studies on philosophical dilemmas involving morality, which he feels makes him very qualified to write about politicians. Reading the Bible turned Robert into an atheist, a combative disposition toward greed turned him into a humanist, and the fact he has not lost a game of Madden football in over a decade means you can call him "Zeus." If you would like to be his friend, you can send him a Facebook request or follow his ramblings on Twitter. For additional content that may not make it to Liberal America, Robert's internet tavern, The Zephyr Lounge, is always open