Marriage Equality Advocates Jump For Joy As Texas Legislature Stalls

Not to be outdone by the governments of Indiana and Arkansas, the 84th Texas legislature put on their ten-gallon hats and fired their six-shooters into the air?with hopes?of passing legislation Wednesday that would have defied an expected upcoming Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage. However, the Capitol soon turned into the O.K. Corral and as the midnight deadline approached, Republicans found themselves unable to pass the restrictive bill.

texas legislature
Image via PublicDomainPictures.net

They ultimately scrapped it.

Instead, through the combined brain power of conservative Texas Congressmen, they passed a resolution that restated the state government’s official position that marriage was between one man and one woman.

Seriously, that’s all they managed to do.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted that bill to die faster than Sean Bean in the first season of Game of Thrones, but seriously, reaffirming a frequently-established position was apparently all this Republican super-majority was capable of doing.

That’s democracy in action!

The bill, which marriage equality advocates called one of the most restrictive considered in any state thus far, was written in response to an event that took place in February, when a Travis County judge allowed two women to marry after a Travis County Probate judge ruled the state’s gay marriage ban unconstitutional. This feat of humanism would also bring about the fury of Tony “4 Alimony Checks” Tinderholt (R-Arlington), who in a fit of rage at the idea of two women getting married, sent an angry letter to the State Commission on Judicial Conduct where he called out the wrong judge and applied the law the wrong way in his complaint.

Democratic state Rep. Garnet Coleman (D-Houston) had this to say on the bill:

“Good legislation was sacrificed, but appropriately so to see this language fail. It is offensive to my constituents, it’s offensive to me, and it’s offensive to our constitution.”

The 84th Texas legislature will return to the seventh circle of hell on June 1.

Robert could go on about how he was raised by honey badgers in the Texas Hill Country, or how he was elected to the Texas state legislature as a 19-year-old wunderkind, or how he won 219 consecutive games of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots against Hugh Grant, but those would be lies. However, Robert does hail from Lewisville, Texas, having been transplanted from Fort Worth at a young age. Robert is a college student and focuses his studies on philosophical dilemmas involving morality, which he feels makes him very qualified to write about politicians. Reading the Bible turned Robert into an atheist, a combative disposition toward greed turned him into a humanist, and the fact he has not lost a game of Madden football in over a decade means you can call him "Zeus." If you would like to be his friend, you can send him a Facebook request or follow his ramblings on Twitter. For additional content that may not make it to Liberal America, Robert's internet tavern, The Zephyr Lounge, is always open