A lot of people think we shouldn’t gang up on Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar after their son admitted he sexually assaulted several girls back in his teen years–including some of his sisters. On the face of it, there was only one answer to that criticism–Jim Bob and Michelle’s decision to slow-walk reporting Josh’s actions amounted to child endangerment. Well, it looks like we have another answer. An analysis of the core of the Duggars’ homeschooling curriculum suggests that America’s most famous babymakers allowed their kids to be told that if they are ever sexually assaulted, there are circumstances where the victim is to blame.
This weekend, Mad World News co-founder Christy Lee Parker wrote that those of us demanding that the Duggars be held to account for not reporting Josh’s actions are victimizing the Duggar girls all over again. Parker’s argues that since the Duggar girls forgave Josh, we have no right to call out their parents for waiting a year to report what he did. However, information that Wende Benner of Homeschoolers Anonymous dug up about the centerpiece of the Duggars’ homeschooling curriculum raise serious questions about whether Jim Bob and Michelle gave their daughters enough information to make an informed decision on how to deal with Josh’s actions.
The Duggars, for those who don’t know, are big fans of Bible teacher and homeschooling guru Bill Gothard, who resigned in disgrace from his ministry last year after it emerged that he had sexually harassed and assaulted several female employees–in some cases, as far back as the 1970s. Benner, who spent much of her childhood being homeschooled in a Gothard-inspired curriculum, found something about how Gothard’s students are taught to counsel sexual assault victims that sent a chill down my spine. Students at Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute were told to ask a victim if they were in any way at fault for what happened to them.
In Gothard’s view, one way a victim could be to blame would be if they “defrauded” their attacker–that is, if they either dressed or acted in a way that tempted their attacker by stirring up lustful thoughts. According to Recovering Grace, a group of former Gothard students who helped expose his crimes, a woman can defraud a man with something as innocent as a toss of the hair.
I hope I’m reading this wrong. I really am. You mean to tell me that if you’re ever molested, it’s because of something YOU did to arouse your attacker? Apparently so, if you subscribed to Gothard’s teachings. It’s a near-certainty that at some point, the Duggar girls were told that they defrauded Josh. If I were a father and found out any pastor or counselor had said this to my kid, there would be a problem. A big problem.
But there’s more. Look at this chart detailing Gothard’s guidelines for counseling people who have been sexually assaulted:
Notice how it suggests that God could potentially allow victims to be molested if they’re “out from protection of our parents”? Well, apparently that’s related to one of Gothard’s “Seven Basic Principles”–“Authority.” As long as your father has no sin in his life, nothing can happen to you if you’re under his protection. However, if you sin, you step out from under your father’s protection–and thus leave yourself vulnerable to evil such as sexual assault. The idea that anyone could get away with saying this in 2002 and 2003 is simply outrageous.
What parent with any kind of love for their kids would tell them, or allow them to be told, that it’s in any way their fault if they’re sexually assaulted? There aren’t nearly enough words to express how degrading, callous, uncaring, hurtful, and just plain wrong this is. Benner says it best–whatever so-called counseling the Duggar girls received “does not promote healing. It promotes shame.”
It’s rather ironic that Jim Bob and Michelle at the very least sat by and did nothing while their daughters’ counselors told them they may have “defrauded” Josh. In so doing, they defrauded their daughters by not giving them enough information to make a truly informed decision on what to do next. It is also clear that they have defrauded this nation for more than a decade. Behind the facade of a devout, if somewhat quirky, Christian family lurks a culture where victim blaming is acceptable.
While TLC is apparently still weighing whether to bring back “19 Kids and Counting” even as advertisers bail on the show en masse, this revelation appears to remove any defensible reason for TLC to deal with the Duggars anymore. There is no place in any sort of civilized discourse for victim blaming. Period, full stop.
