Editor Note: Apparently, this has turned out to be satire. Thanks Facebook and foolish convincing websites! It’s totally my fault. So, enjoy the story for what it is – a story. Have a mighty day! – Liz
This is one of many good reasons?why not drinking alcohol is a good thing.
Geoff Gaylord, a 37-year-old man in Jacksonville, Florida, turned himself in to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office confessing to the murder of his imaginary friend, Mr. Happy.
Despite admitting to stabbing him multiple times with a kitchen knife, cutting up his imaginary body, and burying Mr. Happy, he was extremely remorseful?and saddened at the outcome of his and Mr. Happy’s relationship.
“His room was a mess all the time with his toys and dolls. He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen… never picked up his empty cocaine baggies and left the toilet seat down when he peed. Before Hapy started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF (best friend forever).”
So what happened to cause this tragedy?
Apparently, Mr. Happy had crashed Gaylord’s vehicle after a night out on the town drinking to celebrate Mr. Happy’s birthday. However,?Gaylord was arrested and charged for the drunk driving incident?instead of Mr. Happy.
He added:
“That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him… I did the unthinkable and killed my best friend. I’m a terrible, terrible person and I need to be punished.”
While giving his confession to officers, he was extremely intoxicated and asked to be given the death penalty on the spot right then. However, officers told him they could not give him the death penalty. He responded by threatening to kill the officers.
Afterward, police?took the upset imaginary friend killer into custody and searched his home and found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun. I imagine they are still?conducting a search for Mr. Happy.
He was charged on multiple offenses, and bail has not been set.
Murder is never right. Murder is always illegal. Even when it is your imaginary friend.
