How To Make Your Friends Laugh: Show Them These 10 Quotes From Children

No doubt you’ve heard the oft-repeated line that “kids say the darndest things.” There are times when my 8-year-old daughter will say something that either makes me think in a way I didn’t know I still could and others when I just bust out laughing. If you’re wondering how to make your friends laugh, here are a ten quotes from children that I believe will give you–and them–a good laugh.

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Image Via Flickr

 

1. I went to see a mortgage adviser with my 7-year old son. As I sat at the desk, my son sat down and said to the man, “Hello, I am not her husband.”

 

2. I sat down with my 3-year-old daughter who was playing at her dollhouse. I asked her which doll I could be and she replied, “The one that does the dishes.”

 

3. My 3-year-old daughter walks in on my husband using the bathroom and says, “Daddy, put that thing back in your pants.”?

 

4. 5-year old: “Can I have a Twik?” Me: “You mean a Twix?” 5-year-old: “No. I only want one.”

 

5. Dropped (my son) off at preschool and he says, “Have a good weekend, Mommy” as he leaves the car. Clearly he has plans that don’t include me.

 

6. My 3-year-old son saw Nick Jonas signing on TV and said, “He doesn’t have any friends, does he?”

 

7. I told my kids that we are no longer saying “shut up” because it sounds mean and can hurt people’s feelings. So my kids are getting creative with their use of words. My 9-year-old daughter was talking and talking, and my 6-year-old son couldn’t take it anymore and said, “Silence you peasant!”

 

8. When my child came home from school on the bus, I paused the work conference call I was on to ask her how her day was. She responded, “Shhh go back to work. I have a list of things I want you to buy me with the money you’re making.” She’s five.

 

9. From my 5-year-old: “Why do my little ball things hurt when I squeeze them? They’re not even attached to my body.”

 

10. Me: “Why is the dog’s head all wet?” My 3-year old (standing outside on the patio): “Oh, because I peed on him.”