‘Leave It To Beaver’ Foster Families To Become Kansas Law

Imagine a land of wheat and sunflowers where ultra-good families win the state foster care jackpot, while “bad” families lose out. That could easily be “Brownbackistan” (a.k.a. Kansas).

Leave It To Beaver Family - Kansas Foster Care Model. Credit: Crakkerjakk http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_Cleaver#mediaviewer/File:June_and_Ward_Cleaver_Leave_it_to_Beaver_1958.JPG
Leave It To Beaver Family – Kansas Foster Care Model. Credit: Crakkerjakk

State Sen. Forrest Knox (R) defines ultra-good foster parents in his proposed?Senate Bill 158. He envisions his CARE families will be like the ?Leave It To Beaver? family in the ’50s sitcom. No kidding!

Hey, Forrest! That family is fictional. You know that, don’t you? After all, how many families can actually solve a big problem in 30 minutes sans commercials?

To belong to Knox’s CARE families club, parents have to comply with these OMG rules:

  1. No alcohol or tobacco products in the house.
  2. Couples must be one man (no more, no less) married to one woman (no more, no less.)
  3. The couple has to be married a minimum of seven years.
  4. One parent must stay at home with the kids.
  5. That parent cannot work, not even from the home.
  6. Neither parent can have ?sexual relations outside of the marriage.?
  7. The family must go to church regularly.
  8. Parents would have to attend monthly training sessions on mental health counseling.
  9. The CARE families will be paid at a ?rate substantially higher than that of other foster care homes.?
  10. All CARE family members can carry concealed guns and none of them needs a license. (Oh, wait – Rule 10 is from another brilliant Kansas bill.)

Knox thinks that all Kansas foster care parents are just a bunch of babysitters. But Knox’s own family is a Beaver family.

Why would he think that? Well, let me tell you. Several social workers flattered the Senator, and of course he ate it up:

??They said we were the only normal home that they visited. My conclusion is that we need more normal homes as foster homes.

“And how do you get normal? When I say normal, I just mean an ordinary home with a mom and dad who loves the kids.?

Well, Senator, I know two separate Kansas foster-care families that are dedicated beyond anything I could ever hope to be. And they are far from ?Leave It To Beaver? families.

Knox wonders how to enforce the ?prohibition against extramarital sex,? the Eagle Topeka Report says. I don’t know; maybe he could just go around peeking into bedroom windows.

And what is this go-to-church rule? Knox said:

?If they’re socially involved ? I’m saying outside of just their work ? then you’re going to, in my mind anyway, you’re not going to have secret activities as likely.

?It’s no secret I’d like to see church people. In Chanute, Kansas, there’s no synagogue.?

I rather think Knox believes in his bill. But I get the feeling someone is encouraging him with?an ulterior plan to dismantle Kansas’ public education system.?Then the state could divert education money to for-profit corporate middle-men. Blindfold public schools, line them up against the wall, and shoot them dead.

In Knox’s hearts and unicorn world, Beaver parents will get beaucoup state money to home-school or send the foster kids to private schools. CARE families will get lots more money than the lesser families receive.

The state spent $12,959 per kid on average last year, according to the Kansas Dept. of Education. Of course, the for-profit corporate educators would get a healthy piece of that chunk of change.

Sen. David Haley (D-Kansas City), the committee’s ranking minority member, said:

?If this is the Cadillac standard that they want to put in place for foster care child providers, why is it necessary to have a certain lifestyle in place?

??Can’t children be raised ? by people who don’t go to church every Sunday or couples that might imbibe with legal activities like alcohol or tobacco??

Erin Teeter, director of foster care for Wichita Children’s Home, said:

“One of the children’s home’s best foster parents is a retired widow and that same-sex couples have proven to be capable foster parents.

?My concern is that we’re basing it entirely on morality. Mine and yours might be different perspectives. We have several homes in this community that are homes with maybe two dads that are fantastic homes.

“And at the same time we might have a home that is lackluster that fits this criteria (a Leave It To Beaver family). I don’t think this is a criteria that shows a good foster home.?

And Kansas Association of School Boards spokesman Mark Tallman pointed out that the bill will hand out tens of thousands of dollars to CARE families with absolutely no accountability.

Just think — Kansas will be dotted with unlicensed gun-toting ?Leave It To Beaver? families. And its government will siphon off all the public education money to corporations.

Oh, goody — the dumbing down of American begins.