Don’t be scary. That is one of Mitch McConnell’s (R-Ky.)?first edicts to his underlings. Imagine that. The newbie Senate Majority Leader knows that Republicans are the stuff of children’s nightmares and adults? headaches. Sounds as if he has a big job ahead of himself.
McConnell explained his not-scary reasoning in the Washington Post:
?I don’t want the American people to think that if they add a Republican president to a Republican Congress, that’s going to be a scary outcome. I want the American people to be comfortable with the fact that the Republican House and Senate is a responsible, right-of-center, governing majority . . . “?
What Senator McConnell wants people to think and what they will think when they see the results for themselves are two very different things,? said Reid’s spokesman, Adam Jentleson. ?Senator McConnell heads a caucus that is obsessed with rigging the game against working people in favor of wealthy special interests. That’s a scary fact indeed, and he won’t be able to hide it…??
McConnell has a lot on his plate as the new Republican boss. So some advice on how to keep his gang from being too scary would probably come in handy. And, I’m just the person to offer it.
- Killing is bad. If you want to make people think that you are a nice guy, you kind of have to be nice. That means no wars, waterboarding, and ?kill the president? and ?kill all the criminals? chants. Stay away from torture and those stand your ground laws, too.
- Don’t call people names. These words are not nice: un-American, obamabot, baby-killing whore, Nazi, feminazi, mooch, and fascist/communist/socialist. These are bad words, too: libtard, traitor, and liar. And use your inside voices, guys.
- Respect others. Don’t blame unwed mothers for everything. Tell your boys that men really can control their sexual desires. Don’t yell at the president. And don’t let anyone try to force women to have an invasive sonogram prior to an abortion, because that is sexual assault.
- Don’t lie. You know when you are lying, so stop it! Tell the truth. The world really is older than 6000 years. People are more valuable than money. Birth control prevents teen mothers. Pollution hurts the earth, and global warming exists. And what a woman wears cannot make a man rape her.
- And smile. I realize this is a stretch for many of the guys. Practice in the mirror. You will know you have succeeded when other people can tell that you are smiling. So could someone go tell McConnell that he isn’t smiling yet?
It is unfortunate that so many grown men did not learn how to play nice when they were in kindergarten. But it is never too late to change from scary to not scary . . . if you really want to change.
