Here Is The Problem With Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting’s Pointless Apology

Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, star of CBS’ The Big Bang Theory, apologized on Instagram for her remarks about feminism in an interview for Redbook, published last week.

Kaley
Image via Flikr by zuko1312

Cuoco-Sweeting is featured on Redbook’s February cover, and during her interview, she was asked whether or not she considers herself a feminist.

“Is it bad if I say no? It’s not really something I think about. Things are different now, and I know a lot of the work that paved the way for women happened before I was around…I was never that feminist girl demanding equality, but maybe that’s because I’ve never really faced inequality. I cook for Ryan (her husband) five nights a week: it makes me feel like a housewife; I love that. I know it sounds old-fashioned, but I like the idea of women taking care of their men. I’m so in control of my work that I like coming home and serving him.”

?After backlash spread across social media as a result of this statement, Cuoco-Sweeting offered an apology:

“In my Redbook article, some people have taken offense to my comments regarding feminism- if any of you are In the “biz” you are well aware of how words can be taken out of context. I’m completely blessed and grateful that strong women have paved the way for my success along with many others. I apologize if anyone was offended. Anyone that truly knows me, knows my heart and knows what I meant.”

This apology has not been well-received, nor should it be. “I apologize if anyone was offended” shows absolutely no growth in trying to understand why people are offended. As a feminist and a woman, I have some definite issues with both the original statement and the apology.

First, it pretends that the work of feminism is over and that all current feminist activist work is unnecessary. Things are, indeed, different now. Some of the same issues that inspired the feminist movements in the 1960s, which is what the average person references when talking about things that are different “now,” still exist. The wage gap between genders is still statistically evident.?Data shows that intimate partner violence against women has seen little decline globally in recent decades, and we’re still fighting for not only the right, but the access, to reproductive justice. Although feminist activism has made great gains in this country toward gender equality, all of these battles continue. There are new struggles as well, such as fighting for the right to perform as any gender with which one identifies as well as work to promote?positive body images and redefine messages of sexual consent. The work of feminism is far from over.

Second, the idea that because one has “never faced inequality” they are somehow exempt from noticing or caring that others do experience oppression as a result of social inequality is maddening. Do we really get to use this as a justification for our apathy? It’s wonderful to acknowledge your privilege, but it’s far more important to use that privilege to contribute to the work of eliminating oppression both domestically and globally for all?those suffering under oppression. There is entirely too much work to be done and too much evidence of oppression to simply pretend that you don’t notice it because of your own privilege and to excuse yourself because of it.

Third, statements made in interviews?by celebrities aren’t only read by “those who know (your) heart.” They’re not only printed in a paper magazine for their millions of subscribers to read, they’re disseminated across social media at frightening speeds. The statements that celebrities make in interviews and on their own social media pages send a message to their fans and followers that influence their views. When one person has that powerful a reach, it comes with some responsibility. The backlash against those statements has less to do with the individual who made them and are much more an attempt to correct the negative influence they have over others. Readers don’t know Cuoco-Sweeting’s heart,?but we do understand her influence and the apathy her statements inspire.

Finally, I do believe it’s possible that the remarks Cuoco-Sweeting made about her own marriage may have been “taken out of context” and applied inaccurately as relating to her views on feminism. I also acknowledge that Cuoco-Sweeting has probably been reminded of this plenty of times since the statements went public. The sentiment behind those statements remains the same, so they need to be addressed. It is great that she enjoys taking care of her husband. It is nice that she enjoys feeling “like a housewife.” Feminism, however, has provided Cuoco-Sweeting, as well as all women, the opportunity to define their purpose as greater than that one identity. It’s given us the choice?of whether or not we?want to be housewives and mothers and the right to define ourselves as happy to be?both, interested in neither, or capable of being both plus more. It has widened our opportunities and insisted that women not be confined to these identities only. Make no mistake, there are plenty of those in positions of power today that still believe we absolutely should be confined to those identities. It’s up to all of us to continue to assure that we are not.

 
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10846513_10152938034703678_913504365389793560_nCarissa is a proud feminist and self-described nerdy chick and pop culture junkie. She graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor’s in Women’s and Gender Studies from the University of Louisville and is currently completing her master’s degree. Her previous work experience is in social justice along with two full-time AmeriCorps terms as a language tutor for immigrant children. In her spare time, Carissa enjoys reading, heavy metal music, and being the Crazy Aunt to her nieces and nephews.