Liberals are out of control!
It’s getting to where you can’t even beat 900 chickens to death with golf clubs anymore without them crying ?abuse? into their limp, blue hankies and blathering about ?animal rights?. The Corporate States of America have been pushed too far!
Offering a $5,000 reward matching the monetary cost of the lost chickens, potentially doubling Foster Farms poultry company’s loss to $10,000, only proves what a sand trap Big Business has swung its balls into as of late. It’s no wonder CEOs all over the country are living hand to mouth!
And now these blue coats with their stars and stripes pinned to their chest have apprehended four fine citizens minding their own business on the back nine of Riverdale, CA. Three of them are even kids, and what have they done other than tee off an air of suspicion toward authorities for breaking and entering and beating a few hundred chickens, give or take six hundred? Fine, if you call peeling back a fence on Sept. 20 and entering private property ?breaking and entering,? then you might as well call the riots in Ferguson, MO the result of police brutality and oppression. Liberals love that word as much as they love ?everyone?.
Okay, sure, numerous tips come in pointing toward poor 18-year-old Gabriel Quintero ? the ?adult? of the group. Sure, print his name all over the place just because a couple of the others are 17 and the other is only 15. Go ahead and slap felonies for burglary and ?cruelty to animals? on them while you’re at it, why don’t you? Fine. That makes a lot of sense, as if animals live, breathe, and feel pain like the rest of us.
And then Fresno Sheriff’s Department spokesperson Christian Curtice can’t even say what brought on, let’s face it, little more than kids being kids, clowning around and beating nearly a thousand chickens to death. Come on, already! We’ve all been there, right?
And this ?Sheriff’s Department? is so sure of itself that it’s not anticipating arresting anyone else? These kids don’t even have attorneys, and why should they need them for a little innocent chicken massacring? You don’t eat chicken nuggets every time you pass McDonald?s? There’s more than one way to make pink slime, you know.
So they nab these average American kids with detectives from a special agricultural task force based out of Fresno; it’s not like they killed all the chickens. A few were still pecking around amongst the dead, their bellies full of their brothers? and sisters? eyeballs and entrails, so what is everyone complaining about? Those chickens had a smorgasbord! Sure, some died, but some feasted like kings thanks to these kids and their 18-year-old ?adult?. Even Foster Farms spokesperson Ira Brill will tell you that! These chicken barns are filled with thousands of chickens, so what’s the big deal? So these kids had some fun and killed maybe a third of them. Big whoop.
Ira Brill wants everyone to know Foster Farms and the American Humane Association take the incident ?seriously?.
Brill said:
?This disturbs us all. It appears to be a very senseless act of animal cruelty.?
And that’s the problem with liberals, always taking everything so seriously. If a boy and a few of his chums can’t even beat some 900 chickens to death with golf clubs anymore, what are we coming to in this country? Before you know it we’ll have peace on earth, and then how are we going to steal the rest of the world’s oil?
Think about it, people.
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Dylan Hock is a poet, novelist, professor and social activist. He is published in a number of little magazines and has an essay on the muzzling of Ezra Pound included in the anthology “Star Power: The Impact of Branded Celebrity”. Follow him on Ello, Google+, LinkedIn, RebelMouse and Goodreads. Hire him for freelance writing and editing work on Elance.
