On the now-classic Hobby Lobby case, today the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that a private company can exclude coverage of women’s contraceptive medication from its insurance policy based on religious objection. That’s right, ladies. According to the court’s interpretation of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, no birth control for you, because your Bible-thumping boss believes that sex is only for making babies.
While that might be restrictive on you dames, it certainly gives us guys some leverage. We now have a license to cheat on our wives! With no problem! And no religious guilt, either!
You see, while Hobby Lobby argued against ladies? birth control pills, the company had no problem with insurance coverage of prescription medication to treat men’s erectile dysfunction. And why is that? Because medications like Viagra and Cialis aid procreation, they say. Even the Catholic Church approves of those prescription meds, too, and for that same reason.
And how does that give men an a-okay to cheat on their wives and sleep with other women? Because at the same time a man becomes subject to erectile dysfunction, his wife is no longer capable of pregnancy!
Here are the facts:
- A huge majority of ED cases ? 90 percent, in fact ? occur to men who are in their mid-50s.
- It’s that same phase in life (between 45 and 55 years of age) when menopause occurs to women, making them incapable of pregnancy.
- The average age difference between married couples in the U.S. is only 2.3 years.
You see? ED occurs to men at the same time in life that menopause occurs to women, and spouses go through these circumstances simultaneously. At the same time a husband can’t get it up, his wife can’t get knocked up, either. So the only thing he can do with that Viagra-treated and Hobby Lobby-approved hard-on is find himself a younger chick?to plant with it.
Stop complaining, women ? quit?your whining and go wash the dishes. I mean, what the hell else can we do?
Come to think of it, we should probably marry those younger babes we can now morally mess around with, too! Polygamy! And I’m sure Hobby Lobby will approve ? even the Supreme Court in a future ruling. Go on and read your Bible about Abraham, Caleb, Ezra, David, Gideon, Esau and the many others who had multiple wives. Don’t mess with our?religious freedom as men across the country join up with that multiple-wife wing of the Mormon faith!
Yeah, yeah, yeah ? we already know that a majority of women taking birth control (58 percent) do so for reasons other than pregnancy prevention, such as anemia, endometriosis, migraines, and even dermatology, which those medications also treat. But so what? Get back in the kitchen, girls.
Don’t come between a man and his medication-enabled, Hobby Lobby-supported, Supreme Court-allowed infidelity.
What’s your take on today’s Hobby Lobby ruling by the Supreme Court? State your case on?Liberal America’s Facebook?page.
Edited by D.H.
