In days of old, when knights were bold and others were somewhat naughty, medieval monks who found themselves lusting after the milkmaid (or the milkmaid’s brother, or her brother’s donkey) were wont to perform an icky little ritual called self-flagellation. This form of “mortification of the flesh,” as it is called in theological circles, basically involved whipping the hell (literally!) out of oneself with riding crops, birch branches, or whatever came to hand. The idea was to punish yourself for impure thoughts and deeds, and bring yourself back into the Godly fold.
For liberals, progressives, Democrats, women, minorities, gays, and plain old decent folks, listening to Rush Limbaugh may not be as physically painful as thrashing yourself with a cat o’nine tails, but it takes an emotional toll. I quit doing it years ago when my ears began to bleed. But a lot of liberals listen to the Great Bloviator, for the simple reason that we have to keep up with his drivel and spew. (Don’t get me started on why we don’t ignore him and all of his defective little followers on talk radio and Fox News, or you’ll have a rant-and-rave op-ed on your hands, and nobody wants that.)
On Wednesday, Limbaugh indulged himself in an unhinged little rant of his own, blessedly free from any facts whatosoever and gleefully treading (or erasing) the line between political sanity and outright, barking madness. He gets a rating of five howler monkeys for this one. Today’s topic: why Barack Obama is responsible for the Washington Redskins losing their trademark.
Say what?
Well, let’s back up. The Redskins, for the football-impaired, are an NFL team whose name has long been considered to be a racial slur. (As someone of partial Cherokee descent, I can verify that yes, indeed, “redskin” is a nasty little epithet. Don’t go around any Native Americans slinging that particular term unless you want some consequences.) In recent days, the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office slapped down the NFL franchise’s trademark of the name, citing the slur’s “disrespectful” connotations. The move is the latest step in an effort to force the Washington franchise to change its name to something that isn’t so blatantly offensive to a racial or ethnic group. (Or, as some wags have suggested, keeping the name and changing the logo…)
The current complaint with the USPTO was filed in 2006, while Barack Obama was a junior senator. It grew out of a complaint filed in 1991, while Barack Obama was still in law school. That complaint resulted in the trademark being taken away then, but a court appeal won it back for the Redskins. The second complaint was filed in 2006, where it banged around in procedural limbo until the board finally issued its ruling. To clarify for Rush’s benefit, Obama didn’t file the complaint, or represent the plaintiffs in any way whatsoever. He is not part of the USPTO, and does not sit on the office within the USPTO, the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board, which cancelled the actual trademark (actually six of them).
But, since the Oxy has long since eroded any semblance of judgment from Rush Limbaugh’s mental processes, in his wacky little world, Obama Done It All. Let’s give him a (brief) moment to explain. You can imagine him spray-spitting and thrashing around in his chair while reading this, if you like.
This is not the Patent and Trademark Office. This is Barack Obama. … All this stuff is coming out of the executive branch. All of this, well, tyranny. It’s all coming from the executive branch, and Obama owns the executive branch.
Tyranny?! Ah, the madness of King Barack. But, we said we’d give him a minute more.
He is the executive branch. But yet it’s never reported that way. It’s never, ‘The Obama administration today canceled the trademark ownership and registration the Washington Redskins.’ No, it’s the Patent and Trademark Office — a nameless, faceless bunch of geeks. Wrong! Barack Obama’s administration did this. Barack Obama’s administration lied to you about keeping your doctor.
My doctor works for the Patent Office? That explains some of the treatment I’ve been receiving lately. And just for clarity’s sake, the number of Executive Office employees is 2.5 million. According to my rough-and-ready calculations, if Obama spent every minute of every day of an entire year flitting from one Executive Office employee, every civil servant, Post Office worker (yes, they’re in there), janitor, and agency head, he could spend a bit over 12 seconds with each one, directing him or her to Do the Tyrant’s Bidding. I guess this week was his week to impose his will on the Patent Office.
But Rush isn’t finished!
Barack Obama’s administration has basically erased the Southern border of the United States and is allowing anybody in. Barack Obama’s administration is doing all of this, and they’re just now getting up to full speed. It’s not the Patent and Trademark Office. That’s just the location of the implementation. The thinking, the intellectual firepower, the desire, the instructions, the orders, the power to do this is coming right out of the White House. Make no mistake about it. IRS? Obama! Not Lois Lerner. She was just the woman that implemented the desires/demands that come from the White House. This is all executive branch stuff, and it’s never reported that way. ‘The IRS today said five rogue agents in Cincinnati,’ blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No. The White House. The Obama administration. In a sense, this is landmark.
When he gets his legs under him and ratchets up to full lurching stupid mode, Limbaugh is in a class all his own. He’s said flat out that Obama was personally responsible for a relatively obscure government office approving a complaint filed during the Bush administration, and thrown in ridiculous and off-topic accusations about the ACA, immigration, and the IRS “scandal. He left out Benghazi, so I have to take off points for presentation. But he gets full marks for creativity.
He finishes off by accusing Obama of personally trampling on the Redskins’ property rights, then presumably runs off to eat flies and gibber about “the blood is the life!”
Do you think Rush wakes up in the morning blubbering: “Tyranny! Benghazi! Kenyan! Where am I?” For myself, I hope so.
As Politicus’s Jason Easley points out, Limbaugh scores a perfect 10, being wrong on every single aspect of his rant. Obama has no power to force the Redskins to change their name to the Washington Community Organizers or anything else, and the Patent Office can’t even make them lose the name. What the decision does is make it more difficult for the Redskins to protect their merchandising. They can continue to call themselves the Redskins or anything else they like. Limbaugh is also wrong about Obama having the unilateral, “tyrannical” right to force the Redskins to lose their federal trademark rights. The Redskin franchise successfully appealed the loss of its trademark in 1991, and they intend to file a similar appeal over this decision.
Easley concludes by writing:
This sort of reality detached anti-Obama delusion is what makes the cash registers ring for Republicans and the right. Limbaugh’s claims today had no basis in fact, and were the ramblings of a man who makes his living by feeding into the fear and hatred of this president that he has cultivated among his audience for years. Republicans really will blame Obama for anything, including the racist history of the Washington Redskins’ name.
He got that right. Tomorrow, Rush will explain how Obama sabotaged my toaster oven. Inquiring minds want to know.
H/T to Politicus for sharing this with the world. I don’t generally link to Limbaugh’s site, as I don’t want to force you to dig the gunk (and the malware) out of your hard drive after visiting his pages. But Jason Easley of Politicus did, and for that I thank him. Now shower that Rush off, Jason.
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Published writer since 2001, focusing on politics, history, Web development, and other topics. First book is coming soon.
