This is going to be a hard article for many of you to read. The embedded audio recording will be hard for you to listen to. But you need to listen to it.
From Upworthy:
The definition of pedophilia is “a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive?sexual attraction?to prepubescent children, generally age 11 years or younger.”?Note how I emphasized “attraction.” To be a pedophile,?you don’t have to act on your urges.
From Adam Mordecai on the Upworthy Facebook page:
This story is particularly important to me. I have friends who are victims of abuse. As a parent, just hearing the word “pedophile” makes me turn into a factory of rage. I can’t even think clearly about it, I’m so blinded by the fury to even imagine that someone would want to do that to someone so innocent. And so, when the reporter who did this story approached me about trying to get more eyes on it, I thought to myself, “Which is more important: blinding rage or trying to actually reduce the number of pedophiles who act on their urges in this world.” I think most of us have chosen blinding rage for so long because trying to understand how this could even be a thing in the first place is a scary proposition.
But if we don’t address it, we’ll just end up doing the same thing we’ve always done, which is closing our eyes and ears and just wishing it will go away. And it won’t. Unless we learn how to handle it, study it, learn ways to prevent it, and get people like this guy the support he needs to hopefully someday be a functional whole person. If you don’t get people thinking about it, who will? Let me know your thoughts in the comments, and thanks to This American Life for the opportunity to try to make an important issue reach more people.
– Adam Mordecai?
Reporter Luke Malone wanted to interview a young pedophile.?When “This American Life” decided to address pedophilia, they knew they were walking into the unknown and starting some really tough conversations. “Adam” is the fake name of the young man who was interviewed by Luke Malone.?Listen to Adam’s story below by clicking the orange arrow play button.
When Adam saw a counselor, his experience was what most of us would expect. The counselor, a woman, was shocked. They talked some about the issue, but ultimately, she said that she couldn’t help him. The counselor did encourage Adam to tell him mother. His mother’s?response was amazing:
“Adam, we’re going to help with this. Whatever it is, we can help with it and don’t worry. I’m with you.”
His mother was shocked. Baffled. Adam’s home life was stable and he had good relationships with his siblings. Adam and his mother can’t pinpoint exactly where this affliction came from, but they’re tackling it.
Adam, with the help of his mother, has started an online support group for other pedophiles who have not acted on their impulses and/or urges. He admits that he is ill-equipped to help those who have abused children. He is personally struggling with the same feelings all of us struggle with when we talk about this topic — rage and disgust.
In my long career in workforce development, I had three men approach me. They were job-seekers. They were also convicted sex offenders and pedophiles. They had all served their time, received counseling, etc…What was going through my mind, every time??“F*ck f*ck f*ck don’t do this to me. Don’t put this in my lap.”?One of them was a former colleague. I was floored.
I avoided them. Ignored their calls. Deleted their voicemails the minute I heard their voices. I quietly severed all ties to my former colleague. One of them finally cornered me and I encouraged him to start his own business. I knew that getting a job would be nearly impossible for him. In short, I couldn’t help them beyond looking at their resumes and making suggestions.
What if a pedophile who had never offended approached me for help? Would I have been able to help him? No. I’d have been terrified. I’d have felt the weight of the world on my shoulders as I struggled with how to handle it. Refer him to a counselor? Tell my supervisors? Call the cops? What? I don’t know.
I know what I’m going to see in the comments to this story — I’m going to see things I’ve felt and said myself. “F*ck these perverts.” “Throw ’em under the jail.” “Hanging should be made legal again just for them.” “I’d kill anyone who did this to my kids.”
Yes, yes, yes, and me too. I’ve felt and said all of these things.?Please don’t think that I condone pedophilia or sympathize with the plight of a child molester. Please don’t think that I’m not as shocked as any other person would be. I’m a mom and a bleeding heart liberal who is committed to advocating for the vulnerable and disadvantaged, especially children. But I agree with the folks at Upworthy and This American Life. This story needs to be told.
And I applaud Adam and his mother.
I want to plead with you to try to put your feelings aside for a moment and see what I’ve come to see and that is that these people need help. Can we ignore people like Adam who are reaching out for help and falling into an empty space? ?We have to try to help — not for the well-being of pedophiles so much as for the safety of generations of children who are affected by their actions.
Who is going to help these people??If they go to a counselor, they’ll be reported to the authorities. And rightly so. The safety of children in a community must come first. Almost no research has been done on pedophilia, and research on pedophiles who have not acted on their urges is virtually nonexistent.
What we can do, all of us, is raise awareness. It doesn’t mean that we sympathize. It means that we’re willing to be a part of the solution in whatever way we can.
You can support This American Life by buying their iOS or Android app. It’s only $2.99 and you’ll get to listen to lots of great stories.?Luke Malone spent nearly two years interviewing members of the support group. You can direct questions to @bylukemalone?on Twitter using the?hashtag #TarredTAL.?To read the transcript of this story, see the original piece at?Upworthy.
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Tiffany Willis is the founder and editor-in-chief of Liberal America. An unapologetic member of the Christian Left, she has spent most of her career actively working with ?the least of these? and disadvantaged and oppressed populations. She’s passionate about their struggles. To stay on top of topics she discusses,?like her?Facebook page,?follow her on Twitter, or?connect with her via LinkedIn. She also has?a?grossly neglected personal blog?and a?literary quotes blog that is a labor of love. Find her somewhere and join the discussion.
h/t This American Life?/?Upworthy
