Louie Gohmert Wants To Fight Eric Holder Over His Asparagus…Again

Let’s be harshly honest. Representative Louie Gohmert (R-TX) will probably not be winning any points in the intelligence category at any time in this century. Through all of his gaffes and incoherent debates, we laugh at the unique ability Gohmert has to say the most unbelievable things whenever he is in front of a microphone or camera. We laugh that is, until we come to the realization that this man is an elected official of the U.S. Congress, and is a shining example of why our once great nation has become the laughing stock of the world.

During a House Judiciary Committee oversight hearing on Department of Justice operations Tuesday, Gohmert segued into his usual off topic, nonsensical mode and decided to pick yet another fight with Attorney General Eric Holder. In what was supposed to be a hearing that included? topics of? the department’s use of prosecutorial discretion for marijuana cases in Colorado and Washington where using the drug is legal and the National Security Agency (NSA) surveillance programs, Gohmert decided to use the opportunity to question Holder about same-sex marriage, documents pertaining to the Holy Land Foundation, as well as the Fast and Furious Operation and the fiasco that led to the Contempt of Congress charges against Holder.? Holder was eventually cleared of all charges and wrongdoing after a 19 month review.

Aside from Gohmert’s usual round of conspiracy theories and unfounded claims, he went on to accuse the highest law enforcement officer of this country of collaborating with terrorists and, oh yes, claiming “that contempt is not a big deal to our Attorney General.”? Gohmert then refused to allow the Attorney General to respond to those accusations by talking over his answers with more gibberish.

Now, you really got to hand it to Eric Holder. Through whatever irrational behavior the intelligence depleted members of Congress wish to display, he really puts up with a lot and tries to be patient.? This time however Gohmert would not be so lucky.? It is interesting that the nut-wing political right is trying to claim that Holder “threatened” Gohmert. He never did, but I wouldn’t suggest that he walk down any dark alleys alone for fear of his voters coming after him. They might try to physically assault him with…[gulp]…pillows…or even fake interviews on Fox News.

We knew it was coming as soon as Holder emphatically stated:

“You don’t want to go there, buddy, alright?? You don’t want to go there, ok?”

Watch the exchange below.

Holder tried to point out how the whole Fast and Furious and contempt charges against him had all been a ruse by the gun lobby, courtesy of the National Rifle Association, while Gohmert started screaming about “a couple hundred Mexicans died” and then quickly flipped the script to the wide array of discriminatory “religious freedom bills” that have been circulating in several states. Gohmert has been pretty vocal in supporting these bills as a right for businesses and people of both public and private service, like health care workers, to refuse service to individuals for any reason based on those businesses’ and individuals personal views on religion.? Gohmert, in usual absurd fashion, used up all his allotted time before the chair of the panel, Representative Bob Goodlatte (R-VA), finally decided to cut him off.

So what was Attorney General Holder’s response to the line of questing by Gohmert when he finally was silenced by his own party?

“GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR ASPARAGUS.”

Did you catch that?? Last year in May, Gohmert staged a similar episode of “spank me, I like it” with Eric Holder during a hearing about the two months of phone records gathered from the Associated Press regarding the Boston Marathon bombing, perpetrated by the Tsarnaev brothers.

I am not going to venture into what kind of problems Gohmert has peeing, or what certain vegetables make his urine spell like, but…”The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus.”? What the heck does that mean anyway?? Is that some kind of commonly used phrase in Texas that the rest of us have no idea what it means?? I still have no idea, but for some reason I am still picturing Gohmert in bib overalls brandishing some sort of mechanized pitch fork that hurls some kind of Nerf missile while he is standing over a wagon full of asparagus and defending it until his dying breath.

Seriously, if anyone really knows what it means, please let me know!? I come from a long line of good hard-working farm folk and I would really like to get that image of Gohmert permanently removed from my skull.

Image courtesy Huffington Post

"...And so I say to all of you here and to all in the nation tonight that those who appeal to you to hold on to the past do so at the cost of denying you your future. This great rich, restless country can offer opportunity and education and hope to all--all, black and white, North and South, sharecropper and city dweller. These are the enemies: poverty, ignorance, disease. They are our enemies, not our fellow man, not our neighbor. And these enemies too--poverty, disease and ignorance--we shall overcome." ~excerpt from speech by President Lyndon B Johnson, given two days after the start of the Selma Marches in an event that became known as Bloody Sunday.