There is a true gem from the “what the entire F***” hall of fame of rape culture comes in the form of a letter about how to attract “rape bait,” and posted on totalfratmove.com. The letter was written by a member of Georgia Tech’s chapter of Phi Kappa Tau. It’s a advice letter to the “chods” about how to be rapey-while warning not to rape- yet signing the letter “in luring rapebait”. Maybe someone failed to tell this guy that yes means yes, no means no, and not getting consent for sex doesn’t lead to grad school or a career but to cell blocks and sex offender registries.
I know when I go to parties I can never resist a guy who comes up to me with all his swag and beer breath, grabs me and expects me to grind on him like a exotic dancer not even for pay. It says:
“Here is how to dance: Grab them on the hips with your 2 hands and then let them grind against your dick. After that slowly alternate between just putting your hand across their stomach, but make sure don’t to go to high (keep it under the boob) or too low(dont try to finger her… yet).”
Mmmm, tell me more stud:
“ALWAYS USE YOUR HANDS OR ARMS TO GUIDE THEIR DANCING in order to maximize your pleasure. If she starts putting her hair over her ear, THAT MEANS SHE WANTS A KISS.”
I know that the frat rape master must have his rapey spidey senses fine tuned to know the difference to when a woman is moving her hair because her hair is bothering her or as a rape go signal.
The email’s author included a “short guide” which is in reality a predator checklist-
” A short guide consist of the 7 E’s of HOOKING UP! 1. Encounter (spot a girl or group of girls) 2. Engage (go up and talk to them) 3. Escalate (ask them to dance, or ask them to go up to your room or find a couch, depending on what kind of party) 4. Erection (GET HARD) 5. Excavate (should be self-explanatory) 6. Ejaculate (should also be self explanatory) 7. Expunge (send them out of your room and on their way out when you are finished. IF ANYTHING EVER FAILS, GO GET MORE ALCOHOL.”
He is not concerned with having sex that is about his partner. He is concerned with having power over a woman’s body. Just like when he decides to move her body on the dance floor for his pleasure. If the writer of the email reads this, I hope he knows even if it was a joke as he now says, he has the mindset of a rapist. Predators have a way of choosing their victims. In cases of date rape it’s often all about pushing boundaries, getting the victim away from their friends, and making sure they are too drunk to consent. If his strategy for party sex is getting women to drink until saying no isn’t a problem. HE IS A RAPIST! His whole letter is all about seeing if she will or can resist. Getting her in a position where she can’t or will feel like she can’t say no.
Many are content with reports that the “luring rapebait” author and the fraternity have been suspended. Many think this is no big deal and people are making too much of this. I disagree. This is rape culture in our face on blatant display. The thing that needs to come out of this event are conversations about why rape culture isn’t funny. That men can prevent rape. Most important that yes means you have consent, not maybe, certainly not no-yes.
Edited/Published by: SB