A Louisiana Sheriff from the?East Baton Rouge Parish is drawing the attention of the entire nation to the “Union, Justice, and Confidence” state?after it was revealed that over the course of multiple years he has been paying his officers to date gay men. ?However, this isn’t some progressive LGBT outreach campaign: ?It’s something much different.
At least 12 gay men in the?East Baton Rouge Parish area have unknowingly found themselves on dates with some of Louisiana’s finest members of the thin blue line. ?Personally, I’ve got myself a case of the vapours just thinking about it! ?Someone go fetch me a fainting chair sugar while I carry on with the rest of this report.
Picture it. ?It’s a hot and balmy Saturday night in Louisiana and you’re thinking to yourself “Girl, I sure could stand to get out of this house and meet myself a nice southern gentleman.” ?So you whip out your smart phone, open your Grindr app and start searching through men in your area, when you come across this profile:
Now sure, he isn’t the best looking guy, he’s missing half his hair, nor does he even appear to have a waist line smaller than his stomach. ?In fact, you could absolutely do a lot better than him, but compared to the other profiles in your area he’s the best you’re going to find tonight. ?”You’re gonna have to kiss a few toads to find that prince,” you keep telling yourself.
So you send off that first witty hello to try and catch his attention and within 30 minutes you’ve got your Sunday’s best on and are headed out for what you think is going to be a nice conversation in the park with an upstanding citizen who, just like you, is looking for love in all the wrong places.
All the wrong places indeed, because unbeknownst to you, the man you’ve just parked your keester down next to on the bleachers isn’t there to steal your heart away, he’s there to cart you off to jail for breaking a federally unconstitutional law you probably had no idea existed.
You’re about to find yourself in jail for breaking?Louisiana’s invalid and unenforceable crime against nature statute ? R.S. 14:89. ?Yes girl, that’s still a real thing. ?The only thing those handcuffs are about to be used for are to carry you off to the clinker.
The New Civil Rights Movement has the scoop:
An East Baton Rouge Parish, Louisiana sheriff reportedly is allowing his deputies to set up stings targeting gay men, then arresting them, essentially for dating or private, in-home hook-ups. The state of Louisiana has refused to repeal anti-sodomy laws deemed unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court a decade ago.
None of the at least 12 gay men have seen any real jail time because the law they are being charged under has already been deemed unconstitutional by US federal law, but that hasn’t stopped Sheriff ?Sid J. Gautreaux, III?(who you might recognize from the parody Grindr profile) from trying to enforce the law in an attempt to harass gay men in his perish.
Thankfully, the District Attorney in the area has refused to prosecute any of the cases, according to the Baton Rouge Advocate.
District Attorney Hillar Moore III said his office refused to prosecute each one of the cases because his assistants found no crime had occurred. After inquiries from the newspaper last week, he arranged to meet with Sheriff’s Office investigators to discuss the implications of the Supreme Court ruling.
Casey Rayborn Hicks, a Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman, denied that investigators had been misapplying the anti-sodomy law, which remains among the state’s criminal statutes.
?This is a law that is currently on the Louisiana books, and the sheriff is charged with enforcing the laws passed by our Louisiana Legislature,? Hicks said. ?Whether the law is valid is something for the courts to determine, but the sheriff will enforce the laws that are enacted.?
Moore noted that public sex acts and the solicitation of ?unnatural carnal copulation? for money remain illegal. But those elements were lacking from these 12 cases, and most of the men were arrested after agreeing to have sex away from the park at a private residence.
So why on earth is the elected Sheriff who ran on a platform of “focusing priorities on uniform patrol and developing greater communication among local, regional and state law enforcement agencies to help make East Baton Rouge Parish safer,” wasting his time, and his officer’s time going on dates with gay men?
It sounds kind of, well, queer to me to think that these cops must have been forced to talk dirty to some of these guys in order to get them to come out into public to meet. ?I mean, how straight can a man be when he’s willfully engaging in phone sex with another man and agreeing to have things either thrust into him, or thrust into someone else?
Did the undercover cops have to watch numerous hours of man on man, balls against ass, jizz-fest porn to get the lingo down “just right”? ?Or perhaps, maybe perhaps, was the lingo already part of their daily usage … meaning … some wives in the East Baton Rouge Parish better be asking their husbands a few questions when they get home tonight.
Yes, the main story here is that gay men are being illegally harassed by Louisiana Sheriff?Sid J. Gautreaux, III and his boys for doing absolutely nothing wrong other than meeting other men, but the underlying story that most people are looking past is just how gay does it make the officers who engaged in this activity in the first pace?
If these officers were able to fool, or convince other men that they were gay so convincingly, then I for one suggest that the entire East Baton Rouge Parish police department immediately disinfect all their batons and handcuffs, because there’s no way that anyone can safely say where those things have been lately.
You can draw your own conclusions from that. ?I don’t need to tell you what I ?meant. ?But if the?East Baton Rouge Parish wants to continue dating gay men, then perhaps they should change the banner of their website to something more like this:
