The Definitive List Of 60 Stupid Republican Quotes

For THE most entertaining stupid quotes of all time, there is NOTHING to beat stupid Republican quotes! Who would entertain us if we lost all of the GOP politicians? The things that so many of them say are stupid, out-of-touch, and sometimes, downright crazy. Here is a list of some of the dumbest comments Republicans have ever made.

1. “If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.” ~ George W. Bush
2. “We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.” ~ Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele
3. “When the President does it that means that it’s not illegal.” ~ Richard M. Nixon
4. “Exercise freaks are the ones putting stress on the health care system.” ~ Rush Limbaugh
5. “Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.” ~ Rush Limbaugh
6. “Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?” (sic) ~ George W. Bush
7. “Good Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.” ~ Jerry Falwell
8. “As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens (sic) do learn when standards are high and results are measured.” ~ George W. Bush
9. “Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.” ~ Jerry Falwell
10. “Facts are stupid things.” ~ Ronald Reagan
11. “How did [the Holocaust] happen? Because God allowed it to happen because God said, ‘My top priority for the Jewish people is to get them to come back to the land of Israel.'” ~ Rev. John Hage
12. “Our gays are more macho than their straights.” ~ Ann Coulter, commenting in 2005 on Jeff Gannon, the conservative plant in the White House press corps who turned out to be a male escort
13. “This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.” ~ George W. Bush
14. “Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.” ~ Ronald Reagan
15. “[America has to import so many workers because] for the last 35 years we have aborted more than a million people who would have been in our workforce.” ~ Mike Huckabee
16. “I even accept for the sake of argument that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged.” ~ Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia
17. “I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started.” ~ Donald Rumsfeld
18. “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better. ~ Andre Bauer
19. “Well, I learned a lot.I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You’d be surprised. They’re all individual countries. ~ Ronald Reagan
20. “We have a lot of work to do. It’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.” ~ John McCain (the countries share no common border)
21. “The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.” ~ Rush Limbaugh
22. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you.” ~ Rep. Virginia Foxx
23. “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” ~ George W. Bush
24. “What I don’t know is what the unexpected might be.” ~ John McCain
25. “I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman” ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
26. “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” ~ Pat Robertson
27. “President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a far broader scale.” ~ Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, testifying before Congress
28. “Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.” ~ Rick Perry
29. “You can always follow me on Tweeter.” ~ Rick Perry
30. “Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself!” ~ Herman Cain
31. “From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented.” ~ Rick Perry, on the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, in 2010
32. “I had other priorities in the sixties than military service.” ~ Dick Cheney on his five draft deferments
33. “The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But I didn’t live in this century.” ~ Vice President Dan Quayle
34. “The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is. A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.” ~ Herman Cain
35. “I will tell you that I had a mother last night come up to me here in Tampa, Florida, after the debate. She told me that her little daughter took that vaccine, that injection, and she suffered from mental retardation thereafter.” ~ Michele Bachmann on the HPV vaccine. (It doesn’t cause mental retardation.)
36. “These are not bad people. All they are concerned about is to see that their sweet little girls are not required to sit in school alongside some big overgrown Negroes.” ~ President Eisenhower commenting on racial segregation after the Brown vs. Board of Education decision.
37. “This president, I think, has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture. I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people, I’m saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist.” ~ Glenn Beck
38. “I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” ~ George W.Bush
39. “I feel the best way to ensure Americans’ freedom is to tighten restrictions on that freedom in any way possible. Only through wiretaps, illegal searches and seizures, unfettered government intrusion, a controlled media and a complete crackdown on free speech can we ensure the liberties of all people.” ~ Attorney General John Ashcroft
40. “What a terrible thing to have lost one’s mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is.” ~ Vice President Dan Quayle
41. “Michele Bachmann? I’m not going to say it. I’m not going to say it. Tutti-frutti. I know I’m going to get in trouble!” ~ Herman Cain on the different flavors of ice cream to which he’d compare his primary competitors.
42. “When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, ‘Oh shut up!’ I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining.” ~ Glenn Beck
43. “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.” ~ Rep. Michele Bachmann
44. “I love California; I practically grew up in Phoenix.” ~ Dan Quayle
45. “He is purplethe gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle the gay pride symbol.” ~ Jerry Falwell’s warning to parents that Tinky Winky of Teletubbies, may be gay
46. “The greatest threat to America is not necessarily a recession or even another terrorist attack. The greatest threat to America is a liberal media bias.” ~ Rep. Lamar Smith
47. “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” ~ Rep. Michele Bachmann
48. “If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be turning over in his grave. ~ Gerald Ford (on Nixon and Watergate)
49. “Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?” ~ Rick Santorum
50. “I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.” ~ Mitt Romney
51. “I saw the young man over there with eggs Benedict, with hollandaise sauce. And I was going to suggest to you that you serve your eggs with hollandaise sauce in hubcaps. Because there’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.” ~ Mitt Romney
52. “I’m ready for the gotcha questions and they’re already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know?” ~ Herman Cain
53. “They [China] have indicated that they’re trying to develop nuclear capability and they want to develop more aircraft carriers like we have. So yes, we have to consider them a military threat.” ~ Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, warning that China could develop nuclear weapons. (They developed them in 1964.)

54. “If you’ve seen one city slum, you’ve seen them all.” ~ Spiro Agnew
55. “Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating the sanctity of life.” ~ Orrin Hatch
56. “I went to a number of women’s groups and said: ‘Can you help us find folks,’ and they brought us whole binders full of women.” ~ Mitt Romney
57. “We have a president, who I think is a nice guy, but he spent too much time at Harvard, perhaps.” ~ Mitt Romney
58. “We need a leader, not a reader.” ~ Herman Cain
59. “How do you say ‘delicious’ in Cuban?” ~ Herman Cain
60. “A poet once said, ‘Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.'” ~ Herman Cain, using the theme song of the Pokemon movie in the closing statement of the first GOP debate in 2012

Epic, eh? Do you have any more?



About Tiffany Willis

Tiffany Willis is a fifth-generation Texan, a proponent of voluntary simplicity, a single mom, and the founder and editor-in-chief of Liberal America. An unapologetic member of the Christian Left, she has spent most of her career actively working with “the least of these" -- disadvantaged and oppressed populations, the elderly, people living in poverty, at-risk youth, and unemployed people. She is a Certified Workforce Expert with the National Workforce Institute, a NAWDP Certified Workforce Development Professional, and a certified instructor for Franklin Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn. She also has a grossly neglected personal blog, a  Time Travel blog, a site dedicated to encouraging people to  read classic literature 15 minutes a day, and a literary quotes blog that is a labor of love. Find her somewhere and join the discussion. Click here to buy Tiff a mojito.


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  1. Doug Just Doug says:

    I am not a witch. – Christine O’Donnell

  2. Jim Longo says:

    #51 is a little petty. Who among us hasn’t inflicted pun-ishment on others?

    1. Shayne Patrick says:

      I have to agree. I’ve used that pun.

  3. Looseafir says:

    1. Sheryl Crow
    on Environmentalism: “I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares
    [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want
    to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I
    think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with
    only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky
    occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.'”

    2. Joe Biden
    on culturalism: “In Delaware, the largest growth of population is
    Indian Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7/11 or a
    Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”

    3. Whoopi Goldberg
    on 43-year-old Roman Polanski raping and sodomizing a 13-year-old girl:
    “I know it wasn’t rape-rape. It was something else but I don’t believe
    it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and [sic] when they let him out he
    was like “You know what this guy’s going to give me a hundred years in
    jail I’m not staying, so that’s why he left.”

    4. Joy Behar on Economics: “Isn’t it a little racist to call it Black Friday?”

    5. John Conyers
    on the Health Care Bill, which he voted for: “I love these members,
    they get up and say, ‘Read the bill … What good is reading the bill if
    it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to
    find out what it means after you read the bill?'”

    6. Former DNC Chairman Donald Fowler
    on possible delay of RNC convention due to Hurricane Gustav: “Plus they
    think the hurricane’s going to hit (starts laughing) New Orleans about
    the time they start. The timing, at least it appears now, that it’ll be
    there Monday. That just demonstrates God’s on our side”

    7. Barack Obama: “I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go?”

    8. John Kerry
    on the troops: “You know, education, if you make the most of it, you
    study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you
    can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

    9. Howard Dean: “We know that no one person can succeed unless everybody else succeeds.”

    10. Rosie O’Donnell: “Don’t fear the terrorists. They’re mothers and fathers.”

    11. Al Gore: “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”

    12. Congressman Hank Johnson on Guam: “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize,”

    13. Alan Grayson
    on Health Care: “The Republican health care plan: don’t get sick …
    The Republicans have a back up plan in case you do get sick … This is
    what the Republicans want you to do. If you get sick America, the
    Republican health care plan is this: Die quickly!”

    14. Nancy Pelosi on the economy: “every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs.”

    15. Helen Thomas: Jews should “get the hell out of Palestine” and “go home” to Germany and Poland.

    16. Wanda Sykes:
    “I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung
    out on Oxycontin he missed his flight … Rush Limbaugh — I hope the
    country fails. I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a
    waterboarding, that’s what he needs.”

    17. Bill Clinton on ordinary Americans: “African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.”

    18. Barack Obama
    on a tornado that killed twelve people: “In case you missed it, this
    week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died – an
    entire town destroyed”

    19. Harry Reid on Iraq: “This war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything.”

    20. Kanye West: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”

    21. Joe Biden
    on the economy: “The number one job facing the middle class, and it
    happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S.”

    22. Bill Maher on Christianity: “I think religion is a neurological disorder.

    23. Joe Biden
    on History: “When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got
    on the television and didn’t just talk about the, you know, the princes
    of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened.”

    24. Ted Rall:
    “Over time, however, the endless war in Iraq began to play a role in
    natural selection. Only idiots signed up; only idiots died. Back home,
    the average I.Q. soared.”

    25. Michael Moore
    on terrorism: “There is no terrorist threat. Yes, there have been
    horrific acts of terrorism and, yes, there will be acts of terrorism
    again. But that doesn’t mean that there’s some kind of massive terrorist

    26. Henry Waxman on Environmentalism: “We’re
    seeing the reality of a lot of the North Pole starting to evaporate,
    and we could get to a tipping point. Because if it evaporates to a
    certain point – they have lanes now where ships can go that couldn’t
    ever sail through before. And if it gets to a point where it evaporates
    too much, there’s a lot of tundra that’s being held down by that ice

    27. Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, DC: “If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate.”

    28. California Senator Barbara Boxer:
    “Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I’m
    still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be
    the same again.”

    29. Wesley Bolin, former governor of Arizona: “We’d like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles.”

    30. Senator Chris Dodd, while on the campaign trail: “Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again” Sen. Chris Dodd, on the campaign trail.

    31. Melissa Lafsky,
    Huffington Post blogger: “[Mary Jo] would have thought about arguably
    being a catalyst for the most successful Senate career in history …
    Who knows — maybe she’d feel it was worth it.”

    32. Joe Biden on the passage of the Health Care Bill: “This is a big f…ing deal!”

    33. Bill Clinton: “It all depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.”

    34. Jerry Brown,
    former governor of California, and current candidate for the same
    position: “The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we
    need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer

    35. Democratic Convention producer Don Mischer,
    overheard on CNN having an apoplectic seizure when the balloons failed
    to drop from the ceiling of the Fleet Center in Boston: “Go, balloons. I
    don’t see anything happening. Go, balloons. Go, balloons. Go, balloons.
    Stand by, confetti. Keep coming, balloons. More balloons. Bring them.
    Balloons, balloons, balloons! More balloons. Tons of them. Bring them
    down. Let them all come. No confetti. No confetti yet. No confetti. All
    right. Go, balloons. Go, balloons. We’re getting more balloons. All
    balloons. All balloons should be going. Come on, guys! Let’s move it.
    Jesus! We need more balloons. I want all balloons to go. Go, confetti.
    Go, confetti. Go, confetti. I want more balloons. What’s happening to
    the balloons? We need more balloons. We need all of them coming down.
    Go, balloons. Balloons. What’s happening balloons? There’s not enough
    coming down. All balloons! Why the hell is nothing falling? What the
    f— are you guys doing up there? We want more balloons coming down.
    More balloons. More balloons.”

    36. Marion Barry,
    former mayor of Washington, DC: “I am clearly more popular than Reagan.
    I am in my third term. Where’s Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by
    George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less.”

    37. Bill Clinton: “I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. I’ve never had an affair with her.”

    38. Joe Biden,
    on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen, who is, in fact,
    still alive: “His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest
    her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s
    still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.”

    39. Al Gore on zoology: “A zebra does not change its spots.”

    40. Rod Blagojevich,
    former governor of IL: “I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I
    grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a
    black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up.”

    41. Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz on the newly passed health care law: “We actually have not required in this law that you carry health insurance.”

    42. Congressman John Dingell
    on freedom: “The harsh fact of the matter is when you’re passing
    legislation that will cover 300 million American people in different
    ways, it takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that
    have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the people.”

    43. Former Congressman Eric Massa:
    “Now, they’re saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I
    grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe and four guys jumped
    on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.”

    44. Congressman Charlie Rangel
    on our troops: “If a young fella has an option of having a decent
    career or joining the army to fight in Iraq, you can bet your life that
    he would not be in Iraq.”

    45. Radio personality Ed Schultz
    on elections: “If I lived in Massachusetts, I’d try to vote ten times
    … Yeah that’s right, I’d cheat to keep these bastards out. I would.
    Because that’s exactly what they are.”

    46. John Kerry
    on health care: “I’m going to be honest with you — I don’t know a lot
    about Cuba’s healthcare system. Is it a government-run system?”

    47. Congresswoman Maxine Waters
    on socialism: “Guess what this liberal would be all about? This liberal
    will be about socializing…uh, um…Would be about, basically, taking
    over, and the government running all of your companies.”

    48. Senator Harry Reid on Barack Obama: “…light-skinned,” and with “no negro dialect.”

    48. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano on national security, after a man attempted to blow up a commercial airplane with a bomb in his panties: “The system worked.”

    49. Nancy Pelosi on legislation: “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it.”

    50. Joe Biden to Missouri State Senator Chuck Graham, who is wheelchair bound: “stand up … Chuck, stand up, Chuck, let ’em see you!”

  4. Max1128 says:

    Small correction: the title says 50 quotes, but the list (and the URL) actually has 60.

    1. Shayne Patrick says:

      Do you also make a fuss if your footlong hot dog is really 14 inches?

    2. San Diego Doug says:

      once the author got going listing “Stupid Repub Quotes”…. she rapidly got to 60 before even blinking an eye, and never realized she was already well past 50. so she just kept the 60 she had listed. :).

  5. Dusty754 says:

    “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

    “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

    Bush has a ton of them.

  6. Shayne Patrick says:

    Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. Our enemies never stop thinking about new ways to harm us and our country, and neither do we.” — George W. Bush

  7. eric says:

    I don’t know – 16 sounds like some maybe we should try.
    30 is also not that stupid – ultimately the responsibility lies with you and even if those other things are the problem, the responsibility lies with you to fix them or at least work to fix them. Don’t blame, that does no good – rather identify and work to improve the problems.
    51 may be groan-worthy but its a joke – a bad one, but a joke a none-the-less. maybe context makes it a stupid thing to say but the other things here are beliefs and that’s not a joking matter.
    and 60 is true just the source is stupid but remind me where his economic plan came from?

  8. marecek21 says:

    “I feel the best way to ensure Americans’ freedom is to tighten restrictions on that freedom in any way possible. Only through wiretaps, illegal searches and seizures, unfettered government intrusion, a controlled media and a complete crackdown on free speech can we ensure the liberties of all people.” ~ Attorney General John Ashcroft

    It just doesn’t get any more Orwellian than that.

  9. marecek21 says:

    A little too much focus on Herman Cain, I would say. And, excuse me, but not A SINGLE, SOLITARY Palin quote? No way! I would add in some from Ben Carson, like this absolute brainless gem: When asked if he thought being gay was a choice, he responded, “Absolutely, ’cause a lot of people who go into prison, go into prison straight, and when they come out they’re gay, so, did something happen while they were in there?” The sheer deductive brilliance of his mind is just something to marvel at.

    1. Shannon says:

      With all due respect, if they listed EVERY stupid thing a Republican had said, this website would look like a phone book.

  10. San Diego Doug says:

    HOW IN THE WORLD can there be NO Palin quotes in here.
    EVERY sound bite she has, is FULL of major gaffs.

    Palin is even more clueless than Bachmann or Cain, who round out the 3 most ignorant politicians in modern history.
    all 3 of these above, make GW Bush look like a Rhoade’s Scholar – LOL

    1. Shannon says:

      DOn’t forget about the “rapey sperm” guy.

      1. San Diego Doug says:

        Well, that was Repud Todd Akin, with his (non)brilliant statements on “legitimate rape” & “rapey sperm”, etc.

        i’m sure he would have made this list, with that WHOPPER of a stupid public statement, that he made.

        but this article was written in June 2013…. and Akin’s (non)brilliance mentioned above, was not publicly stated by him, until July 2014.

  11. Shannon says:

    “The internet is a series of tubes” Orrin Hatch

  12. Doug Just Doug says:

    Boy, it’s now a couple of years later and it would take an entire separate website to catalog all the stupid stuff Trump and Carson have said in just the last few months.